From a new Swedish movie, The Ketchup Effect, coming out in March. Here's a clip (with English subtitles) on the state of teenage romance: "Imagine you're holding a bottle of ketchup..." Cute...
Monday, March 13, 2006
Like Shaking a Bottle of Ketchup
From a new Swedish movie, The Ketchup Effect, coming out in March. Here's a clip (with English subtitles) on the state of teenage romance: "Imagine you're holding a bottle of ketchup..." Cute...
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Downloading Video Streams from the Internet
Have you ever wanted to download a video directly from iFilm, GoogleVideo or YouTube or any of those other streaming video sites? KeepVid allows you to paste the link for that video into their download bar so you can then right-click it for direct download. Don't know how long this site's going to be staying up but get 'em while you can...
The Kid from Brooklyn Rants about Starbucks
Check out this character going on and on about Starbucks (I don't blame him!). (Windows Media WMV file approx. 4.1 Mb) And here's even more from the obnoxious Kid from Brooklyn.
Enough About Bananas Already!
Over the past couple of years, useful information about bananas keeps recirculating in e-mails. So I thought I'd just post what I've gotten from everywhere on my blog one more time for all to read and forward. It's pretty much researched and confirmed with multiple sources.
If you want a quick fix for flagging energy levels, there is no better snack than a banana.
Containing three natural sugars-sucrose, fructose and glucose-combined with fiber a banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy. Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes. But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions making it a must to add to your daily diet.
Depression
According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain trypotophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.
PMS
Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.
Anemia
High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.
Blood Pressure
This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt making it the perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit! It's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.
Brain Power
200 students were helped through exams by eating bananas at breakfast, break and lunch in a bid to boost their brainpower. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.
Constipation
High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.
Hangovers
One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.
Heartburn
Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.
Morning Sickness
Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.
Mosquito bites
Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.
Nerves
Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system. Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and chips. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.
Ulcers
The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. The only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronic ulcer cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer, trypotophan.
Smoking
Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.
Stress
Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water-balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, there by reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.
Strokes
According to research in The New England Journal of Medicine eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40 percent!
Warts
Those keen on natural alternatives swear that, if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!
So you see, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around.
The Power Behind Bananas
Doctors Home RemedyIf you want a quick fix for flagging energy levels, there is no better snack than a banana.
Containing three natural sugars-sucrose, fructose and glucose-combined with fiber a banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy. Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes. But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions making it a must to add to your daily diet.
Depression
According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain trypotophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.
PMS
Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.
Anemia
High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.
Blood Pressure
This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt making it the perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit! It's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.
Brain Power
200 students were helped through exams by eating bananas at breakfast, break and lunch in a bid to boost their brainpower. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.
Constipation
High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.
Hangovers
One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.
Heartburn
Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.
Morning Sickness
Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.
Mosquito bites
Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.
Nerves
Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system. Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and chips. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.
Ulcers
The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. The only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronic ulcer cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer, trypotophan.
Smoking
Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.
Stress
Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water-balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, there by reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.
Strokes
According to research in The New England Journal of Medicine eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40 percent!
Warts
Those keen on natural alternatives swear that, if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!
So you see, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around.
Redneck Women
What more is there to say? The title says it all! (Windows Media WMV file approx. 3.5 Mb)
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Another Bud Light Commercial
While I wouldn't qualify this one as a Commercial of the Week, I'd still have to say that most of the Bud Light ads have been pretty original and funny. This one's called Roof Work. (Windows Media WMV file approx. 1.43 Mb)
Friday, March 10, 2006
Dumpster Diving Identity Theft
Are you paranoid enough to shred all of your credit card applications and other junk mail before tossing it all out? Well, this guy went and tore his app up into tiny pieces, taped it all back together, filled it out using a DIFFERENT address and used his cell number. In four weeks, the credit card company sent him a shiny new card with a $5000 credit limit on it! Unbelievable! And scary...
For the Chef with Everything...
Instead of just using plain old string to tie your food up for cooking in the microwave (kinky!), try using the new plastic Food Loop.
One for PETA
I don't know where this one originated but I love it! It should even make the staunchest PETA member really happy: The Newfie fur coat. (Windows Media WMV file approx. 460K) (In case you didn't know, Newfies are Canada's beloved version of rednecks.)
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
The Rosetta Project
Wouldn't it be remarkable if someone used the power and reach of the Internet (OK, OK, Web 2.0 -- ha ha) to track and archive all the spoken languages of the world, past and present? One of those things that the Internet is supposed to be good for, right? Stanford University Libraries, The Long Now Foundation, The National Science Foundation and The National Science Digital Library have co-sponsored the Rosetta Project, an ambitious take on archiving the languages on Planet Earth. Check it out at The Rosetta Project. And you might even consider joining as a contributor. They're looking for researchers, linguists, researchers, donors etc.
Scientific Evidence on Beer
Last month, National University of Lesotho scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.
The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:
1) argued over nothing.
2) refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional.
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally
8) Had to sit down while urinating.
No further testing was considered necessary. Men -- Be forewarned!
The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:
1) argued over nothing.
2) refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional.
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally
8) Had to sit down while urinating.
No further testing was considered necessary. Men -- Be forewarned!
Geek Fight Club
From out of the Valley comes the Geek Gentlemen's Fight Club. Where else would you see stuff like rolled-up magazine fighting and plastic knife duels? Click on the small video icons beside each weapon-of-choice to see clips of actual fights. Not for the waek-hearted; these guys take it seriously! But what would Ah-nold have to say about these girly-men?
Monday, March 06, 2006
What's Your Dog's Sign?
And while you're at it, take a look at Fido's horoscope. I see a big bone in your future...
Old and Unusual Roadside Attractions
I'm old enough to remember a lot of those cool buildings that dotted the roadways long before the superhighways crisscrossed the country. As a matter of fact, Seattle still has a couple of its own although most of them have now been torn down or moved away. Here's a site with someone's collection of old pitstops. I especially like the Beagle B&B and the Chest of Drawers (with the socks hanging out of one of them!).
Sunday, March 05, 2006
A Dirty Parrot Joke
A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Geez, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"
The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."
"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"
"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird."
"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"
"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."
"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English can't you?"
"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."
The guy looks at the $20,000 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."
"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20; just make the guy an offer!"
The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, "Psssssssssssst," and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."
"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.
"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie."
"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"
"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.
"NO!" he exclaims. "And she let him?"
"Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over...."
Then the frantic guy demands, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"
The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."
"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"
"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird."
"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"
"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."
"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English can't you?"
"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."
The guy looks at the $20,000 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."
"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20; just make the guy an offer!"
The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, "Psssssssssssst," and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."
"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.
"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie."
"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"
"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.
"NO!" he exclaims. "And she let him?"
"Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over...."
Then the frantic guy demands, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"
Your Longitude and Latitude
It's kind of scary at times to see the information available at your fingertips online. Type in any US address and you can find its longitude and latitude.
Billboard of the Week
An ad agency in New Zealand designed this billboard for underwear maker, Bustop, with a gigantic skirt that actually blows up in the wind to reveal... their underwear!
Dogs vs. Cats
As seen in a dog's diary:
7am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6pm - Oh boy! Mom! My favorite!
7pm - Oh boy! Dad! My favorite!
8pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
11pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in a people bed! My favorite!
As seen in a cat's diary:
Day 1283 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre, little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow? I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I am.
Hmmm?. Not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing "allergies". Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.
But I can wait -- it's only a matter of time..
7am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6pm - Oh boy! Mom! My favorite!
7pm - Oh boy! Dad! My favorite!
8pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
11pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in a people bed! My favorite!
As seen in a cat's diary:
Day 1283 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre, little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow? I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I am.
Hmmm?. Not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing "allergies". Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.
But I can wait -- it's only a matter of time..
Cork Soakers
In recent years, Saturday Night Live has just plain... well -- SUCKED! Many of the original crews have left for Hollywood and the current cast and writers just don't seem to carry a good laugh any more. But once in a rare while, they come up with a real gem. Like this one with one of the Jackson sisters (is that Janet in her frat sweater?). (Windows Media WMV file approx. 6.12 Mb)
D-oh! They're REAL!
Whoa! There's just way too much stuff going on at YouTube today! This has got to be my favorite clip of the week. Someone actually went to the trouble of re-creating the entire 1-minute opening sequence of the Simpsons using real live actors and it's so-oo good! Check out Homer's crack as he races ahead of Marge's car into the garage; just like the cartoon!
Disneyland Main Street USA - 1956
Ah, how I remember the first time I saw footage of Walt Disney World in Anaheim California on television (it was in black-and-white as I recall!). Those memories stuck with me as I grew up and it was magical when a girlfriend and I got to visit DisneyLand in the early 70's for the first time.
Later, when my kids were born in Florida, we would make the trek with them to Disney World in Orlando. That magical feeling of anticipation never seemed to fade each time we walked through the gates into the Magic Kingdom. Thanks, Walt!
Visit Disneyland Main Street USA - 1956 - Google Video
Later, when my kids were born in Florida, we would make the trek with them to Disney World in Orlando. That magical feeling of anticipation never seemed to fade each time we walked through the gates into the Magic Kingdom. Thanks, Walt!
Visit Disneyland Main Street USA - 1956 - Google Video
Freeze Your Ass Off in Saskatchewan
I always forget how cold it gets in Saskatchewan, Canada. After living in Forida for over 20 years and then moving out to the moderate Northwest, you tend to forget how bad it gets in the prairies (and the rest of Canda for that matter!). Here's a short clip of a guy throwing a pot of boiling water into the freezing air on a typical -40c day in Saskatchewan.
Another Mastercard Pic
I love those Mastercard Priceless parodies that have spun off from the original commercials. A Canadian friend sent this one to me recently.
Saturday, March 04, 2006
Just a Sign...
A Sign at a Business Establishment Philadelphia, PA:
"WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH 1000 ARAB TERRORISTS THAN WITH A SINGLE JEW"
This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a business in Philadelphia. Most would be outraged at the thought of such an inflammatory statement. One would think that anti-hate groups from all across the country would be marching on this business. And that the National Guard might have to be called to keep the angry crowds back.
But, perhaps in these stressful times, one might be tempted to let the proprietors simply make their statement. We are a society who holds "Freedom of Speech" as perhaps our greatest liberty.
And after all, it is just a sign.
You may ask what business would dare post such a sign?
Goldberg's Funeral Home
"WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH 1000 ARAB TERRORISTS THAN WITH A SINGLE JEW"
This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a business in Philadelphia. Most would be outraged at the thought of such an inflammatory statement. One would think that anti-hate groups from all across the country would be marching on this business. And that the National Guard might have to be called to keep the angry crowds back.
But, perhaps in these stressful times, one might be tempted to let the proprietors simply make their statement. We are a society who holds "Freedom of Speech" as perhaps our greatest liberty.
And after all, it is just a sign.
You may ask what business would dare post such a sign?
Goldberg's Funeral Home
Just for Fun
This is great! I read this posting by a guy who spent $39 for 100 postage stamps. He used them to write to 100 different consumer companies requesting free samples of their products. You can see the general content of his requests and the responses (and rejections) to his letters on his site, aptly named The $39 Experiment. It does look like he's making a few bucks off his Google AdWords anyway...
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Ouch!
This is an actual emergency room photo of a fisherman who lost control of his high-speed bass boat in West Virginia. The Fishing Wardens believe that he was traveling at a speed of approximately 75 mph at the time of the accident (in case you don't know, that's DAMN fast in a small boat!).
The man was unable to negotiate a curve in the narrow waterway. Unfortunately for him, upon striking the shoreline and being ejected from the boat, he landed back end first on an old fence post. You can probably picture what happened next but the attached picture really says it all. The good news is that after about 6 months, this man made a full recovery after suffering a shattered hip, broken leg, several broken ribs, internal injuries and soft tissue damage. Doctors credited his recovery to the fact that the post lodged itself so tightly that there was little or no blood loss.
It had to have hurt... (maybe it's just a hoax but it sure looks painful!)
What's a Probiotic?
Well, I've recently gotten off a week of strong antibiotics for an infected tooth and it's done wonders for my system. Antibiotics tend to be really indiscriminate in that they just go in there and kill just about everything -- good and bad. Kind of like going after a mosquito with a shotgun. But sometimes it's also the only thing that works in a hurry. What they don't tell you to do after taking antibiotics is that you should try to re-build all the good bacteria back in your digestive system once they're done. I generally take acidopholus and eat yogurt to try and get things back to normal. Recently, Dannon has introduced their new Activia line of yogurts that contain probiotics: good bacteria. You can read more about Dannon's Activia products here. And learn more about Probiotics on their special section here.In many Asian cultures (no pun intended), they've been serving and selling foods specifically for what ails you for many centuries. Some soup shops I've been taken into actually specialize in just one kind of soup just for one kind of ailment. I think we're about to see a new trend in the West to introduce foods that are good for you. I'm not getting paid for this plug but I feel it's something well worth sharing.
Friday, February 24, 2006
Jeopardy Champ
Just got this one and I love it! From long-running Jeopardy champ, Ken. (Sure caught Alex by surprise!) I thought it was rather witty and original myself... (Windows Media wmv file -- approx. 700K)
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Poland Orders Airbus
Not to be outdone by their European neighbors, Poland announced that they were placing a special order for custom-built Polish Airlines planes. Boeing politely declined to build them but Airbus gladly accepted their 6-plane order.
Online Lost and Found... and a Rant
Cool! Someone found a digital camera containing two memory chips with a whole lot of personal pictures on them. In an effort to find the camera's owners, the person who found it has posted a FOUND page online, along with some of the pics on the camera. Looks like the camera was taken on a European trip as some of the pics were from Italy but the camera was found in the UK. I suspect this may become a new trend online as things can get out there pretty quickly if you want it to. How about this? An online Lost & Found modeled after the very successful CraigsList? It could be global in reach with no fee for posting but advertising-based? Lose something? Post it. Found something? Post it. There ya go -- another business model!
Anyway, I have to tell you how amazingly surprised Donna and I were right after the Christmas holidays. After a crazy move back from Connecticut to Seattle, we realized quickly that one of her boxes was missing from the shipment that the movers delivered in mid-December. We were smart enough to check the numbered items off the list as they were unloaded and had the moving guys note it -- reluctantly -- on their sheet before departing to their next stop. They put out a half-hearted attempt to look through their truck before leaving and calls to our moving company were met with instructions to file a claim for it along with our claim for the damages to Donna's brand-new $2000+ mattress. Unfortunately, she wasn't allowed to insure the shipment for full value as the move was set less than 48 hours before pick-up (never mind that the movers didn't show up for another 24 hours anyway but that's another story); so all boxes were only allowed to be insured for no more than 60c a pound! Well, after unpacking frantically for days after the shipment arrived, Donna realized that her entire CD and DVD collection was missing, representing hundreds of items collected over many years. The apathy from the original moving company was appalling and we basically resigned ourselves to never recovering that box.
Over one weekend in January, we were contacted by one of Donna's friends from Minnesota who had received a strange message on her answering machine. It was from a young man who had moved to Spokane, Washington from New York at the end of November. His furniture and possessions were picked up by a moving company that also assured him that they would be delivered by the company and not a broker/freight forwarder. He finally received a cell phone call from the same contractor who also delivered our shipment later. He was going on vacation in mid-December so he kept calling them to see where his shipment was.
When the movers finally arrived at his house in the afternoon on the 14th of December, they unloaded everything quickly, made him sign the documents immediately and then left promptly. Oh -- by the way -- his shipment was also billed out at almost double what his estimate had been. So he immediately began unpacking to see if everything was there. He found many near-empty boxes filled with packing materials: bubble wrap, blankets, etc. for which it appears he was charged for the volume. When he called his moving company, they acted surprised and said they would like those items back as they cost a lot of money (no offer of a refund on his charges). What caught his interest however was a cube box that did not match any of the other cartons that his movers had provided when they did all the packing and loading. He called both his moving company as well as the delivery guys not more than an hour after they had left that Wednesday afternoon from Spokane. His movers told him they would follow up on it and the guys in the truck said to give them the number on the box and they would report it, rather than turning back because of their error. A few days later, he left for the holidays in California and didn't come back to Spokane until a couple of weeks later into the New Year.
No one had ever bothered to call him back about the extra box after many calls both before and after his vacation trip. He had opened the box when he first found just to see if it was actually his and didn't look much more when he realized it wasn't his stuff. But when he didn't hear from anyone, he decided to look though the box to find some clue as to the owner. Fortunately, he found an old address book inside so he started going through phone numbers even as he continued to try calling his movers and the freight carriers with no results. I eventually got this young man's phone number and returned his call. We spent some time comparing notes and timelines only to realize that no one had taken an interest at all in getting Donna's package back to her. (Incidentally, aside from her entire collection of CD's, she had irreplaceable family photos and other personal items packed in there.) The contracted carriers were completely negligent and neither reported it back to their originating company, our moving company or to us (despite having EVERYONE'S phone numbers). In fact, it now appears that they knew that this customer had our box before they arrived at our house the next morning on Thursday, Dec. 15th. Had we not discovered the missing box from the inventory list (yes, we checked off every single item on the list as it came in the house), he would never have even acknowledged it. Worse, he tried to fold the carbon paper up on the Inventory Sheets so that my notations regarding the mattress damage and the missing box would not imprint through to the other copies underneath (an old trick some of my own mover friends showed me). I caught him unfolding the carbons when he wanted me to sign the top copy so I promptly added the notation to our copies and notified our moving company immediately. The delivery guys made a half-hearted attempt to "look" for the carton before they left for Renton that afternoon, mumbling something about the box still having a chance of showing up at another destination, knowing full well as it now appears that they had dropped it off at the last stop.
Well, we finally did have a happy ending to this chapter. Derek sent the package insured back to us and we guilt-tripped our movers into sending him $100 as a reward for his honesty and persistence. So... wouldn't it be a great idea to have a global online lost-and-found site?
Anyway, I have to tell you how amazingly surprised Donna and I were right after the Christmas holidays. After a crazy move back from Connecticut to Seattle, we realized quickly that one of her boxes was missing from the shipment that the movers delivered in mid-December. We were smart enough to check the numbered items off the list as they were unloaded and had the moving guys note it -- reluctantly -- on their sheet before departing to their next stop. They put out a half-hearted attempt to look through their truck before leaving and calls to our moving company were met with instructions to file a claim for it along with our claim for the damages to Donna's brand-new $2000+ mattress. Unfortunately, she wasn't allowed to insure the shipment for full value as the move was set less than 48 hours before pick-up (never mind that the movers didn't show up for another 24 hours anyway but that's another story); so all boxes were only allowed to be insured for no more than 60c a pound! Well, after unpacking frantically for days after the shipment arrived, Donna realized that her entire CD and DVD collection was missing, representing hundreds of items collected over many years. The apathy from the original moving company was appalling and we basically resigned ourselves to never recovering that box.
Over one weekend in January, we were contacted by one of Donna's friends from Minnesota who had received a strange message on her answering machine. It was from a young man who had moved to Spokane, Washington from New York at the end of November. His furniture and possessions were picked up by a moving company that also assured him that they would be delivered by the company and not a broker/freight forwarder. He finally received a cell phone call from the same contractor who also delivered our shipment later. He was going on vacation in mid-December so he kept calling them to see where his shipment was.
When the movers finally arrived at his house in the afternoon on the 14th of December, they unloaded everything quickly, made him sign the documents immediately and then left promptly. Oh -- by the way -- his shipment was also billed out at almost double what his estimate had been. So he immediately began unpacking to see if everything was there. He found many near-empty boxes filled with packing materials: bubble wrap, blankets, etc. for which it appears he was charged for the volume. When he called his moving company, they acted surprised and said they would like those items back as they cost a lot of money (no offer of a refund on his charges). What caught his interest however was a cube box that did not match any of the other cartons that his movers had provided when they did all the packing and loading. He called both his moving company as well as the delivery guys not more than an hour after they had left that Wednesday afternoon from Spokane. His movers told him they would follow up on it and the guys in the truck said to give them the number on the box and they would report it, rather than turning back because of their error. A few days later, he left for the holidays in California and didn't come back to Spokane until a couple of weeks later into the New Year.
No one had ever bothered to call him back about the extra box after many calls both before and after his vacation trip. He had opened the box when he first found just to see if it was actually his and didn't look much more when he realized it wasn't his stuff. But when he didn't hear from anyone, he decided to look though the box to find some clue as to the owner. Fortunately, he found an old address book inside so he started going through phone numbers even as he continued to try calling his movers and the freight carriers with no results. I eventually got this young man's phone number and returned his call. We spent some time comparing notes and timelines only to realize that no one had taken an interest at all in getting Donna's package back to her. (Incidentally, aside from her entire collection of CD's, she had irreplaceable family photos and other personal items packed in there.) The contracted carriers were completely negligent and neither reported it back to their originating company, our moving company or to us (despite having EVERYONE'S phone numbers). In fact, it now appears that they knew that this customer had our box before they arrived at our house the next morning on Thursday, Dec. 15th. Had we not discovered the missing box from the inventory list (yes, we checked off every single item on the list as it came in the house), he would never have even acknowledged it. Worse, he tried to fold the carbon paper up on the Inventory Sheets so that my notations regarding the mattress damage and the missing box would not imprint through to the other copies underneath (an old trick some of my own mover friends showed me). I caught him unfolding the carbons when he wanted me to sign the top copy so I promptly added the notation to our copies and notified our moving company immediately. The delivery guys made a half-hearted attempt to "look" for the carton before they left for Renton that afternoon, mumbling something about the box still having a chance of showing up at another destination, knowing full well as it now appears that they had dropped it off at the last stop.
Well, we finally did have a happy ending to this chapter. Derek sent the package insured back to us and we guilt-tripped our movers into sending him $100 as a reward for his honesty and persistence. So... wouldn't it be a great idea to have a global online lost-and-found site?
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Want to Buy Some Girl Scout Cookies?
A funny clip from Comedy Central on selling Girl Scout cookies. My daughter never sold them THIS way! (Windows Media wmv file -- approx. 1.8 Mb)
The Therapist
A husband and wife go to a therapist after 15 years of marriage.
The therapist asks them what the problem is and the wife goes into a tirade listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they've been married. She goes on and on and on.
Finally, the therapist gets up, goes around the desk, embraces the woman and kisses her passionately rips off her clothes and makes mad passionate love to her. Needless to say, the woman shuts up and sits quietly with a very satisfied daze.
The therapist turns to the husband and says "that is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do that?"
The husband thinks for a moment and replies, "Well, I can get her here Monday and Wednesday, but Friday I play golf."
The therapist asks them what the problem is and the wife goes into a tirade listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they've been married. She goes on and on and on.
Finally, the therapist gets up, goes around the desk, embraces the woman and kisses her passionately rips off her clothes and makes mad passionate love to her. Needless to say, the woman shuts up and sits quietly with a very satisfied daze.
The therapist turns to the husband and says "that is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do that?"
The husband thinks for a moment and replies, "Well, I can get her here Monday and Wednesday, but Friday I play golf."
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Gotta Start Some Time
Cussing' -- everybody has to start sometime!
A 6-year old and a 4-year old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6-year old. "I think it's about time we started cussing."
The 4-year old nods his head in approval. The 6-year old continues, "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with 'hell' and you say something with 'ass.'" The 4-year old agrees with enthusiasm.
When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6-year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."
WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His Mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!"
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4-year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"
"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios!!
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Photo Booth Prank
I always loved the old Candid Camera shows from the 60s and 70s. Good clean fun and always original in the pranks they played. Some of the stuff they have today often goes over the top in making fun of people rather than just helping us laugh at ourselves. Here's one that brings back the old days. Looks like it was done in Universal Studios theme park in Florida. (Windows Media WMV file approx. 4.0 Mb)
Friday, February 17, 2006
Latest Damn Windows Updates
I got another one of those Windows XP Update notices today and went ahead with the automatic update. Not long after my notebook re-booted following the update, my Norton AntiVirus program popped up and informed me that it had expired. After eventually finding and buying a 5-user CD-only version online, I looked more closely at my annoying Norton reminder popup once again and realized that it was telling me that my Trial Period was over and that I needed to ACTIVATE it (or else). After going through a short online activation process with Symantec's server, my AntiVirus was back up and running once again. At that point, I was then able to check Norton's settings to discover that my AntiVirus was NOT expiring until Dec. 2006! So who's going to pay me back for my purchase?
Just so you understand why I'm posting this on my blog, some of you may recall something that appeared minor on the Newswires over the past couple of days (I know I sure didn't pay a lot of attention to it). Something to the effect that the new XP updates were "Disabling Norton Antivirus" or something like that. Well, it did more than just "Disable it." Where's my money, Bill? I hope Symantec sues your collective asses off.
Just so you understand why I'm posting this on my blog, some of you may recall something that appeared minor on the Newswires over the past couple of days (I know I sure didn't pay a lot of attention to it). Something to the effect that the new XP updates were "Disabling Norton Antivirus" or something like that. Well, it did more than just "Disable it." Where's my money, Bill? I hope Symantec sues your collective asses off.
What Good Technology Can Do
10 years ago, we were only beginning to discover how digital animation techniques and photography would change what we saw. Now not a day goes by when we see something that make us go, "Wow! I can't believe you can do that!" Harri Kallio is an Finnish artist/photographer who became fascinated with the dodo after reading Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland. He tried to imagine what the bird might have looked like in its natural habitat had it survived extinction over 150 years ago. So Kallio went about designing and re-creating models of this strange bird (I THINK it was a bird...) so that he could eventually re-create sets of the birds in what appeared to be their natural habitat.
What Kallio has done in itself is a remarkable piece of work. But I believe the more significant accomplishment is in the process itself. Researching the dodo and then taking that information to build his models and place them in what appears to be their natural habitat so that he could shoot realistic-looking photographs would be a remarkable achievement alone. However, I think that Kallio may have single-handedly taken digital photography to a new high and I hope that it sparks other photographers/artists to explore it further in this direction. In this day-and-age of digital animation and special effects, the true art of still images seemed destined to have been relegated to the Twentieth Century.
Kallio will be showing his Dodo series at the Bonni Benrubi Gallery in New York City through April 1. You can read a more extensive overview of his research and approach to developing this incredible breakthrough in photographic work on Slate here. They've also posted a slideshow of his photos here. (It should pop up in its own window.)
What Kallio has done in itself is a remarkable piece of work. But I believe the more significant accomplishment is in the process itself. Researching the dodo and then taking that information to build his models and place them in what appears to be their natural habitat so that he could shoot realistic-looking photographs would be a remarkable achievement alone. However, I think that Kallio may have single-handedly taken digital photography to a new high and I hope that it sparks other photographers/artists to explore it further in this direction. In this day-and-age of digital animation and special effects, the true art of still images seemed destined to have been relegated to the Twentieth Century.
Kallio will be showing his Dodo series at the Bonni Benrubi Gallery in New York City through April 1. You can read a more extensive overview of his research and approach to developing this incredible breakthrough in photographic work on Slate here. They've also posted a slideshow of his photos here. (It should pop up in its own window.)
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
10 Worst Patents from EFF
The Electronic Frontier Foundation has pulled together their own list of the 10 worst patents that should never have been issued by the US Patent and Trademark Office. No. 2 on the list is Clear Channel's claim that they own the patent on the ability to produce live recordings on digital media at concerts! This patent has finally made its way to a review by the USPTO a couple of years after it was issued. This has been why you can't buy live recordings immediately after a concert; Clear Channel wants their cut for using their "patent!" Here's their Top 10 List here.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Headlines from the year 2029
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formally known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
Baby conceived naturally -- scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
Baby conceived naturally -- scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
Lego PC
Wow! PC Magazine hired LEGO brick-artist Nathan Sawaya to build them a custom PC which they paln on giving away in a contest. Go to PC Magazine Online where you can see more pictures of theLego PC and the process of building one, along with instructions for building your own (if you're ambitious enough). There's also an interview with Sawaya on his approach to building all things Lego. Looks like Lego is getting a lot of buzz these days from the tech community.
The latest issue of WIRED magazine also has a cover article on how Lego is re-positioning the company and its Mindstorms robotic line to appeal to a broader adult audience (particularly geeks).
Pictorial History of Hard Drives from c/net
When I first got into programming in the late 60's, the IBM 360/30 ruled the computer industry. They were huge monsters that required huge rooms to house them; the floors were elevated to accommodate all the wiring and the temperature and humidity were constantly regulated to maintain optimal conditions (for the computers, NOT the people running them!). On some nights, you could freeze your ass off in there even with a suit and tie on! At the point I left programming for the first time, hard drives were beginning to make a splash, replacing all manner of storage quickly. And I still remember the old punch cards and key tapes -- nasty!
Anyway, c/net has put together a brief history of the hard drive, complete with pictures. The cost is pretty hard to believe considering our cost per gigabyte today (gigabyte!!!). And some of them didn't even look too bad either.
Monday, February 13, 2006
Charlie Hebdo from France
Charlie Hebdo has been around since the 60's in Paris; they started off as an underground weekly and still continue to publish anything that they think people need to read. I still remember my own misadventures with them when I lived in Paris in the early 70's. This is the cover from the current issue -- Mohammed Overcome by the Fundamentalists -- in which they took a stand and published 12 of the "offensive" Mohammed cartoons. The caption reads, "It's hard being loved by idiots..."
Super Mafia Bros.
I've been hyping up GoogleMaps mashups for some time now. But here's an online game mashup that you might never have dreamed of: How about Super Mario Bros. and Marlon Brando/Godfather in Super Mafia Bros.? Plays and sounds a lot like the original!
What's on MY Wish List?
For the person who loves gadgets, I think this one's the bomb! At least for guys anyway. At least older guys with vinyl record collections. ELP has been selling an amazing new turntable that uses a laser beam instead of the traditional needle to play old records. Imagine no more wear-and-tear on your LPs and no more static coming out of your speakers. But at these prices, I sure won't be buying one any time soon... However, they DO give you a generous 10-day audition period.
Winter Olympics Medal Count
Want a simple way to keep track of the medals being won at the Winter Olympics? The BBC has a constantly updated web page that posts the number of medals won by the Top 15 countries.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Don't Forget to Wash Your Hands When You're Done!
This is actually an older pictorial from the China Daily that features pics from a real restaurant in Taiwan. They feature bathroom fixtures and appliances as decor and utensils (check out the Sundae dish complete with the poop ice cream -- kinda crappy, eh?). You get to sit on a commode to eat. Wonder what their bathrooms look like? Kitchens, maybe?
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Like to Draw?
I remember those ads on the back covers of comic books that were supposed to be tests for artistic talent. You drew the picture of a pirate (or a clown or a dog...) and mailed it in to see if you had the talent to win a free course in commercial art. Of course, what did I know about generating sales leads and cold calls? I was just a 9-year old kid back then who had to steal a postage stamp from the Old Man in order to get my drawing in. Never mind the incredible steps I had to take to swipe an envelope, address it AND manage to get it into a mailbox while out on a walk with our sister. Anyway, one day weeks later when I had finally forgotten about my dreams of learning to be a great artist by correspondence, this dude shows up at our front door looking for the artiste who had submitted this masterpiece. Of course, Dad answered the door and -- after a few incredulous minutes of listening to this peddler -- sent him on his way. I, of course, didn't hear the end of that one for at least a week...
Well, what's this got to do with my current post? I found a new site where you can doodle your own drawing to send to someone so you can get one back. Nice simple concept and a lot of fun. Here's the link to SketchSwap. Have fun!
Well, what's this got to do with my current post? I found a new site where you can doodle your own drawing to send to someone so you can get one back. Nice simple concept and a lot of fun. Here's the link to SketchSwap. Have fun!
Friday, February 10, 2006
Another "Oh SH*T!" Moment Brought to You by the Internet
Here's another GoogleMaps mashup that should turn a lot of people on their heads in a hurry: Zillow.com. They can provide you with house valuations on over 60 million+ homes across the country. Ouch! If that doesn't hurt a few realtors a little, I'd be surprised. (Still in Beta.)
Muslims Everywhere in Canada Now
If you don't believe me, check out this recent picture from Newfoundland. Muslim Moose! (Lighten up -- we're kidding! It's NOT a Mohammed cartoon today!)
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Commercial of the Week: The Importance of Knowing Another Language
A cute commercial that stresses why you should at least be bilingual. (MPG file approx. 2.8 Mb)
Making Fun of Yourself is a Lesson in Humility...
If Christians can laugh at themselves with stuff like this, Muslims can lighten up a bit. Just sent to me from a friend down in California. (Windows wmv Media File approx. 2.5 Mb)
Things Always Look Different from Above
So there was this helicopter pilot in Mexico City who used to fly over the city a lot. And he took a lot of really great pictures whenever he could. His stunning collection is now posted for all to see here.
It HAD to Happen!
And here it is: DrawMohammed.com is posting all entrants and some are pretty damn good!
Just for good measure -- in case you've been hiding in a cave somewhere -- this is a link to a really good flash presentation of the entire comedy so far.
Just for good measure -- in case you've been hiding in a cave somewhere -- this is a link to a really good flash presentation of the entire comedy so far.
Choose Your Own Tartan, Laddie!
I always knew that Lee was also a Scottish name and used to have fun with people on the phone who almost certainly never suspected my Asian roots when they heard my lack of an accent (why would I have one? I was born and brought up on the Queen's English in Canada!). Still, growing up in Nova Scotia with all those kilts and bagpipes on those rolling hills can make one long for the homeland, laddie!
I recently came across this site -- Interactive Weaver on the House of Tartan site -- where you can pick your own colors, the order to weave them in, as well as your thread count, so they can actually weave you your very own family tartan.
Ah, the Internet -- what a concept! Eventually, I see anyone anywhere being able to look up a craftsperson directly online in some remote village and placing an order directly for his/her handiwork. In the meantime, enjoy that kilt!
I recently came across this site -- Interactive Weaver on the House of Tartan site -- where you can pick your own colors, the order to weave them in, as well as your thread count, so they can actually weave you your very own family tartan.
Ah, the Internet -- what a concept! Eventually, I see anyone anywhere being able to look up a craftsperson directly online in some remote village and placing an order directly for his/her handiwork. In the meantime, enjoy that kilt!
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Rock, Paper, Saddam...
What more to say? The title of this site truly says it all.. RockPaperSaddam. Fun to watch all the way through.
Mohammed Through History
So I guess it's alright if THEY do it... This post clearly depicts numerous images of Mohammed as immortalized over the centuries by artists. I wonder how many of them were beheaded or punished for eternity? Maybe the newspapers should start publishing these as well. (Not a terrific server so please be patient as it loads up on your screen -- I don't think they expected the level of traffic they got.)
In all fairness, note that some of the paintings have his face under a veil. (Gee, maybe that's where bin Laden and al Zarqahi got their idea to disguise themselves as women to elude capture, huh?)
In all fairness, note that some of the paintings have his face under a veil. (Gee, maybe that's where bin Laden and al Zarqahi got their idea to disguise themselves as women to elude capture, huh?)
Fight Club Re-mix
Well, it looks as though more and more people are making re-mixes for movie trailers. Romantic comedies turn into horror flicks and horror movies become romantic comedies now. As expected, some are fantastic and most are mediocre. I like this recent one: Fight Club as a romantic comedy (What the F...?)
Thought I saw something strange during Superbowl...
A friend just sent me this funny montage from FreakingNews.com:
And if you want to read something that addresses some of the strange stuff on SuperBowl XL more seriously, read Robert Weintraub's piece, Stealers on Slate.
And if you want to read something that addresses some of the strange stuff on SuperBowl XL more seriously, read Robert Weintraub's piece, Stealers on Slate.
I'd Really Like to Drive Today
After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb. "Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver, "Would you please take your seat so we can leave?"
"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a Cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today."
"I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I can't let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.
"Who's going to tell? Besides, there might be something extra in it for you," says the Pope with a smile.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph. (Remember, he's a German Pope.)
"Please slow down, Your Holiness!" pleads the worried driver. But the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.
"Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license -- and my job!" moans the driver. The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle and gets on the radio. "I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.
Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five miles an hour. "So bust him already," says the Chief.
"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed," All the more reason!"
"No, I mean really important," said the cop with a bit of persistence.
The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"
Cop: "Bigger."
Chief:" Governor?"
Cop: "Bigger."
"Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"
Cop: "I think it's God!"
The Chief is even more puzzled and curious: "What makes you think it's God?"
Cop: "He's got the Pope as a chauffeur."
"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a Cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today."
"I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I can't let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.
"Who's going to tell? Besides, there might be something extra in it for you," says the Pope with a smile.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph. (Remember, he's a German Pope.)
"Please slow down, Your Holiness!" pleads the worried driver. But the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.
"Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license -- and my job!" moans the driver. The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle and gets on the radio. "I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.
Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five miles an hour. "So bust him already," says the Chief.
"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed," All the more reason!"
"No, I mean really important," said the cop with a bit of persistence.
The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"
Cop: "Bigger."
Chief:" Governor?"
Cop: "Bigger."
"Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"
Cop: "I think it's God!"
The Chief is even more puzzled and curious: "What makes you think it's God?"
Cop: "He's got the Pope as a chauffeur."
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Your Very Own Southpark Character!
I found a site (German, I think) that lets you pick and choose all the pieces you need to generate your very own Southpark character. Don't know if they're in violation of copyright or how long it'll stay up (maybe they'll be allowed to continue as it's nothing more than great promo for the show) but here's the link.
Seniors Road Trip
DOES THIS BRING TO MIND ANY ROAD TRIPS THAT YOU'VE TAKEN?
While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table and, she didn't miss them until after they had been driving about twenty minutes.
By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses. All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up one minute.
To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. And, as the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her, "Oh -- While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card!"
While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table and, she didn't miss them until after they had been driving about twenty minutes.
By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses. All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up one minute.
To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. And, as the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her, "Oh -- While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card!"
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Four Idiots
What more is there to say? The title says it all: Four Idiots. (Windows wmv media file approx. 1.8 Mb)
Sex Offenders Among Us
I've looked at a couple of different Sex Offender maps online over the past couple of months and it's generally pretty disheartening and scary when you realize who might be living next door to you.
Over the past couple of years, people like John Walsh have pushed legislators hard to make state lists publicly available. With modern technology, these lists have now been combined with mapping software so you can see where a lot of these pervs live in your area. One of the more recents ones is a mashup combining GoogleMaps with state registries: MapSexOffenders.com. Another more recent startup is The Family Watchdog; I found that one to be even more alarmingly detailed. Here in Washington, you can see the address where they're living and a recent picture and description of the perp. Do check them out yourself and tell your kids to check it out. Yikes!
Over the past couple of years, people like John Walsh have pushed legislators hard to make state lists publicly available. With modern technology, these lists have now been combined with mapping software so you can see where a lot of these pervs live in your area. One of the more recents ones is a mashup combining GoogleMaps with state registries: MapSexOffenders.com. Another more recent startup is The Family Watchdog; I found that one to be even more alarmingly detailed. Here in Washington, you can see the address where they're living and a recent picture and description of the perp. Do check them out yourself and tell your kids to check it out. Yikes!
How Old are You Again?
A friend sent me this link to an age gauge. Just type in your birth date and it'll quickly come up with the rest. Sort of nostalgic but also a little scary for some of us...
Michelle Malkin's Short Movie on the Muslim Cartoons
Check out her 2-minute experiment with Windows movies. She decided to try her hand with a short piece on the Muhammed cartoon deal from the Dutch.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Google's Statement to the Congressional Human Rights Caucus
I've had a dialog with many of my friends regarding Google's recent drubbing for taking its position on limited censoring of its searches in
One example I use a lot in debates with my Western colleagues regarding change is to cite the handovers of Macau and
Personally -- and of course this is strictly my own humble opinion -- I've tried to imagine myself as one of those old dudes sitting in
I think that over time (and we're not talking about a lot here either), the futility of trying to control something like the Internet will overwhelm the Chinese government's current efforts. They'll eventually realize it and move on to bigger and better things. But we Americans have to have stuff to thump our chest about. I only hope that when the open Pandora's Box eventually comes back and bites us in the ass one day that we're ready for it ourselves.
Moreover, since when did it become the job of businesses trying to do business in foreign countries to do the will of the government? I always was under the impression that it was the other way around (stupid me) and that our government should be doing everything in its power to talk to other governments about opening up their trade borders on all fronts (including electronic). Businesses per se have little control -- and shouldn't -- over governments in other countries. When in
And here's another thought to ponder: Our human rights advocates are screaming about what Google should do in
I applaud Google for their decision to launch in
It was interesting that Congress called a hearing on this issue and no one showed up. However, Google did officially send a statement and you can read it in its entirety here.
The Big Mohammed Cartoon Flap in Europe
If you haven't heard anything about the growing protests across the Muslim world that started when a Dutch newspaper published a cartoon depicting a terrorist Mohammed, here's a link to that cartoon and more. And another one here. In case you didn't know, it's taboo to depict Mohammed or Allah according to the Koran. Geez, they're only cartoons...
Another Oldie: Why Can't I Own a Canadian?
Why Can't I Own a Canadian?
October 2002
A couple of friends of mine sent me this piece again recently and apparently it's made its way online over the past couple of years. Can't really attest to its authenticity (I admit it would probably be reasonably easy to do but who likes Dr. Laura anyway?). I do still remember the controversy she sparked in citing the Bible on gays. Here's the intro:
Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted fan,
Jim
October 2002
A couple of friends of mine sent me this piece again recently and apparently it's made its way online over the past couple of years. Can't really attest to its authenticity (I admit it would probably be reasonably easy to do but who likes Dr. Laura anyway?). I do still remember the controversy she sparked in citing the Bible on gays. Here's the intro:
Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted fan,
Jim
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Editing and Context
A while back, some folks did a very creative re-mix of the trailer for the movie, The Shining with Jack Nicholson and Shelley Duvall. It made the movie appear to be more of a romantic family movie instead of the Steven King thriller that it really was. Well, the folks at tomatopatch.com did a re-mix for Tom Hanks' Sleepless in Seattle and made it look like a sinister movie instead of the romantic comedy it really is. Fun trailers.
An Oldie but Goodie: Baby Planes
A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son, who had been looking out the window, turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?"
The boy said, "Yes she did."
"Well then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your mother explain that to you."
The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?"
The boy said, "Yes she did."
"Well then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your mother explain that to you."
Phone Prank Gone Bad
A lot of radio stations seem to be jumping on the bandwagon of making live prank calls to people during their shows. Unfortunately, they sometimes run the risk of going the wrong way... Candid Camera never seemed to ever get this mean. (Windows wma file -- 920k)
Old Lovers
The old man leans over and asks his old lover, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."
"Yes," she says, "I remember it well"
"OK," he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"
"Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but very good idea!"
There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all this, and having a chuckle to himself.
He thinks, "I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble."
So he follows them. They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support, aided by walking sticks. Finally they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.
Suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the watching policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about forty minutes. Finally, they both collapse panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The Policeman, still watching thinks, this was truly amazing I've got to ask them what their secret is.
As the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"
The old man says, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."
"Yes," she says, "I remember it well"
"OK," he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"
"Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but very good idea!"
There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all this, and having a chuckle to himself.
He thinks, "I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble."
So he follows them. They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support, aided by walking sticks. Finally they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.
Suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the watching policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about forty minutes. Finally, they both collapse panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The Policeman, still watching thinks, this was truly amazing I've got to ask them what their secret is.
As the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"
The old man says, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Commercial of the Week: Sony VAIO
The best of working from home from Sony. But then, no one ever does this, right? (Windows wmv file approx. 3.0 Mb)
Deduct-A-Buck
Well, it's tax season once again and H&R Block is working overtime. But they still managed to find time to create a fun new website (H&R Block -- FUN?!!!) called Deduct-A-Buck featuring their very own gameshow host, Max Refund. Guess the five correct answers and qualify to win real prizes. What a great promo idea from a normally staid company.
Monday, January 30, 2006
Bustabot -- The First Online Pop-Up Book
I love to collect pop-up books of all kinds. Some of my favorite books are interactive and since our housefire a couple of years back, I've been adding all of Robert Sabuda's books to my new collection. Anyway, I just discovered this interesting link today for the Adventures of Bustabot. You can make the images move or pop up by pulling (clicking and dragging) the tabs on each page. Fun!
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Women Will Never Understand...
Hey -- the Seattle Seahawks are goin' to the Superbowl next weekend! I generally love going out to shop on Superbowl Sunday because there's almost NO traffic on the roads and not very many men in the stores once that game starts. Seattle will probably resemble a ghost town when Superbowl XL starts. And with that, here's a commercial for the Spanish Fox Sports that says it all.
How to Build a Sideways Room
Many of my friends also know that I never actually officially graduated from high school (I never went back to write a history exam to up my score -- oh well...). But if I had gone on to college, this is the kind of stunt I'd probably also have been doing there. This kid has documented his sideways room project complete with photos on LiveJournal. Hmmm -- April Fools Day is coming up!
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Get Your Last Best Chance DVD Here
Last Best Chance is a new movie that was backed by a surprising group of people bonded by a common goal: preventing the proliferation of nuclear and biological weapons into evil hands. Their website tells you more about the movie and recent reviews and you can actually order the movie as a FREE DVD directly from them (postage included!).
Last Best Chance was originally shown on HBO. Their backers are a bipartisan, international coalition of liberal AND conservative leaders and actors who all want to get this chilling message across to as many people as possible. Spread the word and order the movie.
Last Best Chance was originally shown on HBO. Their backers are a bipartisan, international coalition of liberal AND conservative leaders and actors who all want to get this chilling message across to as many people as possible. Spread the word and order the movie.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Voted Best Joke of the Year in Australia (Sadly)
Aussie walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says: "Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."
His girlfriend is lying in bed and replies: "I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot."
Aussie says: "I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you."
His girlfriend is lying in bed and replies: "I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot."
Aussie says: "I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you."
A Woman from the Inside Out
Nothing dirty here. But this is some really cool code work to present a drawing that seems to draw itself. I played with the speed and the high/low resolution settings for some interesting effects. I can see why it won awards.
Catholic Code Words
I always suspected that different groups and religious affiliations had their own secret codes. The Masons have always had their special books and secret handshake. Well, someone sent me this Catholic Code list today and I decided it was worth passing on:
This information is for Catholics only. It must not be divulged to non-Catholics. The less they know about our rituals and code words, the better off they are.
AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.
BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending Mass.
CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to lip-sync.
HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.
HYMN: A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.
RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.
INCENSE: Holy Smoke!
JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to find colleges with good basketball teams.
JONAH: The original "Jaws" story.
JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.
KYRIE ELEISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava.
MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.
MANGER: Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO. (The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough.)
PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.
PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.
RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.
RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.
TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.
USHERS: The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a pew.
This information is for Catholics only. It must not be divulged to non-Catholics. The less they know about our rituals and code words, the better off they are.
AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.
BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending Mass.
CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to lip-sync.
HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.
HYMN: A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.
RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.
INCENSE: Holy Smoke!
JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to find colleges with good basketball teams.
JONAH: The original "Jaws" story.
JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.
KYRIE ELEISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava.
MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.
MANGER: Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO. (The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough.)
PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.
PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.
RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.
RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.
TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.
USHERS: The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a pew.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Commercial of the Week: Smartest Man in the World
This one's an ad for Montavit Mineral Water, which uses the byline "A Moment of Clarity." About 46 seconds and funny (at least for guys!). (MPG file format 3.8 Mb)
T-Shirts as Great Social Humor
A lot of my old friends know me as having made my first big bucks in the t-shirt business. So while I have sworn off ever wearing imprinted t-shirts or logo-branded crap for life, it doesn't mean I don't appreciate an exceptionally funny one that comes along on rare occasion.
I looked on the t-shirt phenomenon as something of a social commentary for the times. When I first started printing them in the late 60's (right after the short-lived tie-dyed craze), the more irreverant the better. We made political statements and made fun of corporate slogans, among some of the subjects we picked. This clip came over the wire today that covered a company producing the Willy Nagin and the Chocolate Factory t-shirts and bumper stickers. I love it! Here's to Ray Nagin -- Eat chocolate, you racist bastard!
I looked on the t-shirt phenomenon as something of a social commentary for the times. When I first started printing them in the late 60's (right after the short-lived tie-dyed craze), the more irreverant the better. We made political statements and made fun of corporate slogans, among some of the subjects we picked. This clip came over the wire today that covered a company producing the Willy Nagin and the Chocolate Factory t-shirts and bumper stickers. I love it! Here's to Ray Nagin -- Eat chocolate, you racist bastard!
Monday, January 23, 2006
LOVEMAKING TIPS FOR SENIORS
1. Put on your glasses. Double check that your partner is actually in bed with you.
2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
3. Set the mood with lighting. Turn them ALL OFF!
4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.
6. Keep extra polygrip close by so your teeth don't end up under the bed.
7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.
8. Make all the noise you want. The neighbors are deaf too.
9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news.
10. Don't even think about trying it twice.
(Notice I posted this in large type so you can read it)
2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
3. Set the mood with lighting. Turn them ALL OFF!
4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.
6. Keep extra polygrip close by so your teeth don't end up under the bed.
7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.
8. Make all the noise you want. The neighbors are deaf too.
9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news.
10. Don't even think about trying it twice.
(Notice I posted this in large type so you can read it)
World's Dumbest Dog
This dog has got to be the all-time stupidest dog I've ever seen or it's suffering from the worst case of canine dementia I've ever seen. (Windows Media format 2.9 Mb wmv file)
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Like Word Puzzles and Mind Games?
Here's a fun Mensa-style test on old English expressions. Amazing how many you know (or don't know).
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Getting from Here to There (or There to Here)
The never-ending number of places where you can find information simply numbs the mind. Want to know the distance from city-to-city in the States? Click here. Or you can also look up other destinations around the globe.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
How to Set a Table
Here it is, albeit late for the holidays this year. But in case you ever wondered where everything goes on a table...
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Stop-Motion Photography
Photography has come a long way since the days of Eadweard Muybridge and his trip-wire photographs of humans, animals and humans AND animals, all caught in mid-movement. Here's a collection of some incredibly crisp photos that truly seem to stop time.
Monday, January 16, 2006
So There was This Deer on the Hood of A Car, see...
From Comedy Central, a funny 3-minute clip of a dead deer strapped to the hood of a car. Always fun messin' with people's heads... (Windows WMV Media file: 5.2 Mb)
Saturday, January 14, 2006
The Norwegian Firetruck
One dark night outside a small town near Poulsbo in Washington, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames.
The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around. When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will give $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact."
But the roaring flames held the firefighters off. Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate.
As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now $100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the company's secret files.
From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight.
It was the nearby Norwegian rural township volunteer fire company composed mainly of Norwegians over the age of 65. To everyone's amazement, that little run-down fire engine roared right past all the newer sleek engines that were parked outside the plant.
Without even slowing down it drove straight into the middle of the inferno.
Outside, the other firemen watched as the Norwegian old timers jumped off right in the middle of the fire & fought it back on all sides.
It was a performance and effort never seen before.
Within a short time, the Norske old timers had extinguished the fire and had saved the secret formulas.
The grateful chemical company president announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave fire fighters.
The local TV news reporter rushed in to capture the event on film, asking their chief, "What are you going to do with all that money?"
"Vell," said Ole Larsen, the 70-year-old fire chief, "Da first thing ve gonna do is fix da brakes on dat focking truck!"
The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around. When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will give $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact."
But the roaring flames held the firefighters off. Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate.
As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now $100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the company's secret files.
From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight.
It was the nearby Norwegian rural township volunteer fire company composed mainly of Norwegians over the age of 65. To everyone's amazement, that little run-down fire engine roared right past all the newer sleek engines that were parked outside the plant.
Without even slowing down it drove straight into the middle of the inferno.
Outside, the other firemen watched as the Norwegian old timers jumped off right in the middle of the fire & fought it back on all sides.
It was a performance and effort never seen before.
Within a short time, the Norske old timers had extinguished the fire and had saved the secret formulas.
The grateful chemical company president announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave fire fighters.
The local TV news reporter rushed in to capture the event on film, asking their chief, "What are you going to do with all that money?"
"Vell," said Ole Larsen, the 70-year-old fire chief, "Da first thing ve gonna do is fix da brakes on dat focking truck!"
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