Saturday, December 30, 2006
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Friday, December 22, 2006
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Thursday, December 14, 2006
"Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from the University of North Carolina, "What is the opposite of joy?"
"Sadness." said the student.
"And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from the University of South Carolina.
"And you sir," he said to the young man from Clemson University, "how about the opposite of woe?"
The Clemson Tiger replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up."
Saturday, December 09, 2006
Friday, December 08, 2006
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Monday, December 04, 2006
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Friday, December 01, 2006
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Sunday, November 26, 2006
"Now we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 50-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things."
My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find myself a hot 25-year-old blonde and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed.
Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve your midlife crisis!
Friday, November 24, 2006
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Mr Bean-Christmas - video powered by Metacafe
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Monday, November 13, 2006
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Friday, November 10, 2006
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
- John Kerry 2006
* And just so John Kerry knows these guys are for real, they're the 1st Brigade Combat Team of the 34th Infantry Division, Minnesota National Guard, Sir!
Always ready, always there!
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Anyway, with that little bit of desktop publishing history, I'll segue right into the subject of fonts and the fact that you really can't ever have enough of them. Especially when you're looking around for that one font that suits a headline or presentation that you're working on. I just discovered a new site called NeatFonts. These guys have managed to collect hundreds and hundreds of free or shareware fonts from everywhere and loaded them up on one site that's reasonably manageable. Check 'em out HERE. They even have some spooky ones for that last-minute Halloween invitation you've been putting off!
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Saturday, October 21, 2006
So now Dell has decided to come back with bigger once again by introducing a stupid 2-inch (yes, you read that right -- 20-INCH!) laptop. I emphasize the name laptop because I personally can't believe you could call this monster a notebook. It's huge, it's heavy and it's probably quite useless as an easily-transportable computer. I suspect that it will have some limited appeal to those who need the huge display for presentations on the road when you want it all in one package. Other than that, I suppose it could be used for a mini-theater that several people could sit around and watch but... Anyway, this reviewer for c/net UK did a really humorous video to demonstrate the size of this thing and it's well worth watching for the laughs.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Monday, October 16, 2006
It's from a real show in Holland... It's a video of a Dutch interviewer who is interviewing a man on a LIVE TV (Dutch version of 60 Minutes) on "Surgeries Gone Wrong."
This man had a surgical team inadvertently remove his testicles. I think the interviewer could have handled the facts but it was the man's voice that appears to have set him off. Watch a veteran reporter's career go down the drain in about 30 seconds.
It doesn't need to be in English to understand what is happening.
Medical Interview (Windows WMV file approx. 4 Mb)
She spent the first day packing her personal belongings into boxes, crates, and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come to collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods.
She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell.
They tried everything, cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.
Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.
People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid even quit.
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local Realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10 of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.
She agreed, and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home, including the curtain rods.
I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?
Sunday, October 15, 2006
I like this campaign. Especially when you consider the fact that most women don't even closely resemble the glamorous models that show up evrywhere. But just how much makeup do they plaster on to make them look the way they do? And with digital imaging software like PhotoShop, they can re-touch the pictures even more to create an impossible vision of beauty. Dove has posted an incredibly well-done time lapse video of a rather frumpy model being converted over to a stunning cover girl. Check it out HERE.
Saturday, October 14, 2006
"You are all part of our team now," said the Human Resources rep during the welcoming briefing. "You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any employees."
The cannibals promised they would not. Four weeks later their boss remarked, "You're all working very hard and I'm satisfied with your work. We have noticed a marked increase in the whole company's performance. However, one of our secretaries has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?"
The cannibals all shook their heads, "No."
After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others, "Which one of you idiots ate the secretary?"
A hand rose hesitantly.
"You fool!" the leader continued. "For four weeks we've been eating managers and no one noticed any difference in production. But Nooo -- you had to go and eat someone who actually does something!!!"
Friday, October 13, 2006
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
BTW Zucker started off as a Hollywood Dem but got disillusioned with his party's attitudes towards national and international security. So he switched parties and voted for Bush.
Monday, October 09, 2006
Strongest Dad in the World
I try to be a good father. Give my kids mulligans. Work nights to pay for their text messaging. Take them to swimsuit shoots.
But compared with Dick Hoyt, I suck.
Eighty-five times he's pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles in marathons. Eight times he's not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars -- all in the same day.
Dick's also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. on a bike. Makes taking your son bowling look a little lame, right?
And what has Rick done for his father? Not much -- except save his life.
This love story began in Winchester, Mass., 43 years ago, when Rick was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth, leaving him brain-damaged and unable to control his limbs.
"He'll be a vegetable the rest of his life," Dick says doctors told him and his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months old. "Put him in an institution."
But the Hoyts weren't buying it. They noticed the way Rick's eyes followed them around the room. When Rick was 11 they took him to the engineering department at Tufts University and asked if there was anything to help the boy communicate. "No way," Dick says he was told. "There's nothing going on in his brain."
"Tell him a joke," Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a lot was going on in his brain.
Rigged up with a computer that allowed him to control the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his head, Rick was finally able to communicate. First words? "Go Bruins!" And after a high school classmate was paralyzed in an accident and the school organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out, "Dad, I want to do that."
Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described "porker" who never ran more than a mile at a time, going to push his son five miles? Still, he tried. "Then it was me who was handicapped," Dick says. "I was sore for two weeks."
That day changed Rick's life. "Dad," he typed, "when we were running, it felt like I wasn't disabled anymore!"
And that sentence changed Dick's life. He became obsessed with giving Rick that feeling as often as he could. He got into such hard-belly shape that he and Rick were ready to try the 1979 Boston Marathon.
"No way," Dick was told by a race official. The Hoyts weren't quite a single runner, and they weren't quite a wheelchair competitor. For a few years Dick and Rick just joined the massive field and ran anyway, then they found a way to get into the race officially: In 1983 they ran another marathon so fast they made the qualifying time for Boston the following year.
Then somebody said, "Hey, Dick, why not a triathlon?"
How's a guy who never learned to swim and hadn't ridden a bike since he was six going to haul his 110-pound kid through a triathlon? Still, Dick tried.
Now they've done 212 triathlons, including four grueling 15-hour Ironmans in Hawaii. It must be a buzzkill to be a 25-year-old stud getting passed by an old guy towing a grown man in a dinghy, don't you think?
Hey, Dick, why not see how you'd do on your own? "No way," he says. Dick does it purely for "the awesome feeling" he gets seeing Rick with a cantaloupe smile as they run, swim and ride together.
This year, at ages 65 and 43, Dick and Rick finished their 24th Boston Marathon, in 5,083rd place out of more than 20,000 starters. Their best time? Two hours, 40 minutes in 1992 -- only 35 minutes off the world record, which, in case you don't keep track of these things, happens to be held by a guy who was not pushing another man in a wheelchair at the time.
"No question about it," Rick types. "My dad is the Father of the Century."
And Dick got something else out of all this too. Two years ago he had a mild heart attack during a race. Doctors found that one of his arteries was 95% clogged. "If you hadn't been in such great shape," one doctor told him, "you probably would've died 15 years ago."
So, in a way, Dick and Rick saved each other's life.
Rick, who has his own apartment (he gets home care) and works in Boston, and Dick, retired from the military and living in Holland, Mass., always find ways to be together. They give speeches around the country and compete in some backbreaking race every weekend, including this Father's Day.
That night, Rick will buy his dad dinner, but the thing he really wants to give him is a gift he can never buy.
"The thing I'd most like," Rick types, "is that my dad sit in the chair and I push him once."
A new site popped up called How Many of Me that lets you type in your name to see how many other folks happen to have your name in the US. Based on the US Census data, this online app provides lots of fun when you start checking different people's names against that database. Try your friends and family and if that starts to get boring, start typing in what you think are weird names!
From the site itself: "There are 299,940,047 people in the United States of America. If everyone in the U.S. lined up single file, the line would stretch around the Earth almost 7 times. That's a lot of people.
The U.S. Census Bureau statistics tell us that there are at least 88,799 different last names and 5,163 different first names in common use in the United States. Some names are more common than others.
There are 49,531 people named John Smith in the United States. There are 1,048 people named James Bond, 113 people named Harry Potter , 503 people named George Bush, and 31 people named Emily Dickinson. However, Johnny Cash (39 people) songs aside there are, statistically speaking, no boys named Sue."