Monopoly 4ever

Just how many different versions of the enduring game Monopoly are there? According to a Board Gaming blogger from Israel (now THIS guy really has too much time on his hands!), the count is currently at 902 -- including official and unofficial versions. I can tell you that Seattle definitely has one as do the current NFC champions, the Seattle Seahawks (and the Seattle Mariners too). Check out his sources -- a really extensive list and some pretty clever search criteria.

Happiness is a Warm Gun

The Worth1000 PhotoShop contest of the day: mix guns with other everyday objects.

Gum Blondes Site

Remember that old expression, "Too much time on his hands"? Jason Kronenwald is a Canadian with a penchant for chewing gum and making pictures. Of blondes. He's been doing it for 10 years.

Apparently, he uses different colors of gum to create his palette (nohing is added to the original color of the gum) and he sticks the chewed wads on to a plywood background. You can also read his bio on the site. Click here for the Gum Blondes site.

Every Affliction You Never Knew You Had.

From the Sydney Morning Herald in Australia comes this article on Strange Afflictions. How about some doozies like Foreign Launguage Syndrome or Alice in Wonderland Syndrome?

The photo illustration's from the article: "Capgras Syndrome leads sufferers to believe a significant other, such as a parent, spouse or other relative, is being impersonated by an imposter." Wow!

The History of Dance in 6 Minutes

Comedian Judson Laipply does an incredibly funny -- and great -- 6-minute show on the history of contemporary dance (on YouTube). It's hard to pick a favorite. And I'll never admit to ever having done any of these...

More Great Flash

You gotta check out the Jokes with Einstein on SpinnerDisc.com. Some decent flash programming and twisted humor. Tiny Plaid Ninjas, Penguin Calls -- what's there not to like?

Power Tool Drag Racing

A great slideshow on c/net covering the Power Tool Drag Races. Yes, you read that right -- Power Tools, Baby! No big-ass engines, no souped-up suspensions.

From the Intro page: "Riders on two custom fabricated machines compete in the "Funny Car" class at San Francisco's fifth annual Power Tool Drag Races. Races were held Sunday afternoon at the Ace International Speedway, better known as Ace Auto Dismantling, a junkyard where dilapidated cars, tractors and tires are piled high in an industrial no-man's-land at the southern edge of the city. The races allow only handheld power tools such as belt sanders, angle grinders, circular saws, drills, chainsaws, weed whackers and vibrators. Machines that are on rollers are barred from the event."

I especially love Slide 8 showing the refreshment stand; check out how they heat the hot dogs!

New Washington State Barbies are Now Available

Seattle Barbie: This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with a Mercedes 4WD SUV, a Prada handbag and matching Nike Yoga ensemble. She has a masters degree and double-majored, but has the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom with Ken's generous salary. Comes with Percocet prescription and Botox. Starbucks mug and traffic-jamming Blackberry internet/cell phone device sold separately. Husband Ken is into fishing, golfing, baseball and is often "working late." Available at all Seattle-area Starbucks retailers.

Bellevue Barbie: This princess Barbie is only sold at Nordstrom. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, your choice of a BMW convertible or Hummer H2 and a long-haired foreign lapdog named "Honey." Also available is her cookie-cutter development dream house. Available with or without tummy tuck, facelift, and breast augmentation. Workaholic, cheating husband, Ken, comes with a Porsche.

Tacoma Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, switchblade, '78 El Camino with dark tinted windows, and a meth lab kit. This model is available only after dark and can only be purchased with cash - preferably small bills, unless you're a cop, then we don't know what you're talking about. Boyfriend Ken is in jail. Available at many pawn shops.


Everett Barbie: This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie comes with a pair of high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer Gut Ken out of Auburn Barbie's trailer. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, strawberry lip gloss and a see-through halter top. Purchase her Mustang convertible separately and get a Confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free. Boyfriend Ken is in treatment. Available at Army Navy Surplus.


Monroe Barbie: This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans 2 sizes too small, steel-toed cowboy boots, a classic Metallica 'T' shirt and a Tweedy Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has fake fingernails, a six pack of Budweiser, and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over a distance of 6 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Also available is the gold-toned cubic zirconium ring that Ken gave her after another one of his "episodes" with his boss's daughter. Comes with Barbie's Dream Double Wide Trailer. Available at Wal-Mart.

Puyallup Barbie: Pregnant at purchase, this Barbie comes with a stroller and bus pass. Also included is a G.E.D. and a completely filled out food stamps form. Construction worker Ken and his '82 Caddy are optional. Available at Value Village.

Vashon Island Barbie: This Barbie is made out of recycled plastic and tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no make-up, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She does not want, or need, a Ken doll. If you purchase the optional Subaru wagon, you will receive a free rainbow flag sticker. Available at REI.

Olympia Barbie: This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or removing snap on parts. Walks to work. Likes to "experiment," but will never commit. This model is being phased out and is only available from the manufacturer.

OK OK -- Movie Car Chases redux...

Wow! I had no idea that so many people had an opinion on movie Car Chases! (Well, guys anyway...) So with that, I did some more research on the gazilion lists out there with a gazillion opinions. I have to agree with the majority of the lists and blogs that once again, Steve McQueen's Bullitt comes out on top -- hands down! (Or two thumbs up.)

Anyway, here's a list of links:

VARaces claims to be a database of Car Chase scenes from movies;

Strong Opinion's Blog (from Hollywood, no less) posts his Top 25 Car Chases (complete with pics);

The WikiPedia even has its own entry on The Car Chase;

And unfortunately, Popular Mechanics Great Hollywood Chase Scenes (1990) is no longer easily available (except in used VHS format on Amazon). Only 37 minutes in length and narrated by the late James Coburn, it includes the car chase scenes from classics such as Bullitt, To Live and Die in L.A., Vanishing Point, etc.)

And here's a bonus: Susan Encinas wrote THE definitive inside scoop on how they filmed Bullitt, The Greatest Chase of All (from Muscle Car Review, March, 1987).

Check Out This Desk... er, Bed?

Let's see. You're a student confined to a small dorm room so you need to pack a lot into a small space. Or you're a geek who loves to be close to his work. Or...? From FlyingBeds.com in Europe comes the computer desk/bed. Or was that a bed/computer desk?

Top 10 Movie Car Chases from MSN

I still remember the feeling of being on a roller coaster when I first watched Steve McQueen doing the car chase up and down the streets of San Francsico in his souped-up Mustang. I completely agree with MSN Auto's choice of Bullitt as the top car chase in any movie... ever. Here's the link to their Top 10.

Check out some of the clips.

New Building Codes for New Orleans Finally Out

A plan even Ray Nagin can understand.

Why Some Moms Don't Do Yoga...

Cute home video sent by a friend this afternoon. Can someone tell me if this is French or Israeli? (Windows Media WMV file -- approx. 2.0 Mb)

Three Marriages and Still a Virgin

A woman had been married three times and was still a virgin. Somebody asked her how that could be possible.

"Well," she said. "The first time I married an octogenarian, and he died before we could consummate the marriage."

"The second time, I married a naval officer, and war broke out on our wedding day."

"The third time, I married a Microsoft Windows programmer, and he just sat on the edge of the bed and kept telling me how good it was going to be."

Holy Sashimi, Batman! Rev. Sun Myung Moon Controls the Sushi Industry!

In a revealing feature article, The Chicago Tribune did an extensive investigative report on one of the Reverend Sun Myung Moon's sprawling global enterprises: fishing. Sushi, to be specific. Turns out the Head of the Moonies (Remember them?) has been going completely vertical in building a global fishing empire, from building his own fishing trawlers to acquiring processing plants. His fish company wants to be one of the top suppliers of sashimi-grade tuna for sushi. Food for thought the next time you go out for sushi. Full article here (very simple registration required to log in -- but well-worth it to get to the article). If you go that far, be sure to read all the sidebars that cover more of the latest on the Rev! He's ba-aaack!

Bird Flu Hits Florida!

Don't know where this one originated but it's fun!

Deadly Russian Roulette

Lefortovo Tunnel in Moscow is one of the deadliest tunnels in the world.

Security cameras in Russia's recently-completed Lefortovo Tunnel captured some pretty wild high-speed car accidents.

This 3150 m long tunnel in Russia is the longest in-city tunnel of Europe. There is a river running over it and water leaks at some points. When the temperature reaches -38 degrees like it did this winter, the road freezes and the result is this video. The 3.2 km tunnel appears rather cramped, but that doesn't stop any of these drivers from traveling at ridiculous speeds, nor has it prevented them from being generally careless. (Windows Media WMV file Approx. 2 Mb)

Exaggerated Diseases in Modern Times?

The London Times Online published a recent article on Big Pharma's "Diseasemongering."

A quote from the article states, "The practice of “diseasemongering” by the drug industry is promoting non-existent illnesses or exaggerating minor ones for the sake of profits, according to a set of essays published by the open-access journal Public Library of Science Medicine."

You can read the rest of the article here.

I did a Google search for those articles from PLoSM and found the entire set here. You can also download the collection of articles by right-clicking on this link (Adobe Acrobat PDF format approx. 4.4 Mb). Some eye-opening reading. I had no idea how bad it was. And these articles aren't written by lay people either!

National Gas Price Map

Are you SURE you want to see the price of gas in your city or town? Or maybe you'd like to know how much more someone else is paying in another part of the country. Check out GasBuddy. And then have a good stiff shot...

Print and Show This to Your Boss!

Ziff Davis Publishing just published a short article by Jim Louderback on web surfing at work. Apparently, a New York judge ruled in favor of employees who had been admonished for spending too much time online instead of working (!). Here's the clip along with the link to their more extensive article. The longer piece also cites several studies to make the case that on-the-job surfing actually benefits employers and employees alike. Bring out that porn, Fred!

"It's OK to Web Surf on Company Time

I'll bet you wish you worked in NYC — or if you do, enjoy reading and exploring these links at work, because it's perfectly legal! That's because a New York judge has just ruled that it is perfectly OK to surf the Internet during company hours. Check out our story for more, and then print it out and show your boss. And when you're exercising your inalienable right to Web surf, might I suggest Gearlog.com or PCMag.com? Great places to spend some quality time away from work — while you're there!"

Yow! Alcoholics Anonymous Comics from 1968 - 1974

Everyone I know -- me included -- has a favorite (or despised!) alcoholic friend or relative. (OK, OK -- maybe more than one!)

I didn't know that Alcoholics Anonymous had published a series of AA Comics from 1968 through 1974. In typical 60's comic-book genre, they try to convey the soap opera drama of life with alcoholics and the consequences they bring on themselves and those around them. A real glimpse into attitudes of the times... and a fun read!

Air Force One Graffiti Video

Hey, another damn bin Laden tape is on al Jazeera? Fuggedaboutit! The BIG video that's been circulating all day has been the one of Mark Ecko tagging Air Force One! The AP release on WIRED starts:

"WASHINGTON -- A startling internet video that shows someone spraying graffiti on President Bush's jet looked so authentic that the Air Force wasn't immediately certain whether the plane had been targeted.

It was all a hoax. No one actually sprayed the slogan "Still Free" on the cowling of Air Force One.

The pranksters responsible for the grainy, two-minute web video -- employed by a New York fashion company -- revealed Friday how they pulled it off: a rented 747 in California painted to look almost exactly like Air Force One."

Rest of the article is here on WIRED.

If you want to watch the video, here it is (or click on the picture). Pretty damn good hoax. And not too cheap to make according to Ecko. The rest of his site is here: StillFree. (Windows Media wmv file -- approx. 5.9 Mb)

Today's Worth1000 PhotoShop Contest

I like checking in on Worth1000 from time to time to see what subject they've chosen as the PhotoShop project for the day. Today's challenge was to create your own US postage stamps, complete with any theme of your choice. Here are the entries for the day. One of my favorites is the Homer stamp but I also like the first one: Elizabeth Taylor and all her ex-husbands.

Happy 420!

Hey -- it's another April 20th! Happy 420, all! The myth surrounding 420 has spread from a hippie slogan to any of a gazillion other references. Here's a link to the Urban Legends site Snopes on the facts and fiction surrounding 420. And High Times Magazine has a special 420 episode preview from their upcoming June 2006 issue here on YouTube. Happy Hippie New Year to one and all!

Response to My Earlier Ugliest Dog Contest Post

My neighbor has a puppy he's giving away (FREE!). It's a Dachshund, it's house broken and it's great with kids.

He's giving it away because his wife says the dog 'stares' at her when she is undressing and that gives her the 'Heebie Jeebies'. I think she is just weird!

If you're interested -- or know someone who is -- let me know.

Here's a picture of the dog. (See picture below)

WikiHOW: How to Adopt a Chinese Baby

A subset of the incredible Wiki online encyclopedia (I consider it a knowledge base) is the WikiHOW series. They post a dizzying array of HowTo articles written by people supposedly with experience in their particular areas of knowledge. Of course, sometimes you'll get someone talking out their a** about something of which they know nothing but just as in Wiki, the writer generally gets called to task on it and the piece gets either yanked or corrected for accuracy.

I was kind of surprised (even me!) when I saw this piece come up today on How to Adopt a Baby from China (probably written by some Hollywood starlet who needs to upgrade from her Paris Hilton-style chihuahua?). I'm very torn on the social implications of global adoption but not necessarily for the reasons you might think. The long-term ripple effects of what we do are generally very hard to foresee. Think about it this way: For several decades, China followed a one-child-per-family policy under Mao's communist rule in order to maintain the "noble" cause of population control: control the growth of population and you'll better manage limited resources like food. However, the consequences that fell out of that were because of old social mores that made sons more desirable than daughters, given the choice. As a result, many baby girls were abandoned or simply given away to orphanages for years. The real consequence? Now there are too many young males in China and not enough women for romance and marriage causing a different kind of imbalance brought on by social re-engineering. They will be paying for this earlier mistake for generations to come. So now what happens when we start to introduce those children into our society over here? Food for thought...





















(This image used under a Creative Commons license through Flickr)

Commercial of the Week -- FedEx (?)

A friend sent this one along as a FORD - Quality is Job 1 commercial. But it's actually a FedEx commercial. (Or is it? May be a spoof? But good!) (Windows Media wmv file approx. 1.65 Mb)

Ladies First

Ah, the consequences of not following a Golden Rule: Ladies First!
(Sorry -- no sound on this animated gif file!)

Annual World's Ugliest Dog Contest

Well, the Sonoma-Marin County Fair is coming again this June and with it comes -- you guessed it! -- The Annual World's Ugliest Dog Contest. Pick from this year's litter and vote for your favorite!

Happy Slapper Meets Instant Karma

Apparently, if you believe some of the articles running in the UK press, there's a new "phenomenon" sweeping across Britain. Bored city dolts -- like some of the same geniuses you saw in Trainspotting -- are running around randomly slapping strangers on the street for kicks. Most of the Happy Slapper attacks are filmed (generally on crappy video phones) for posting online. As many of my friends know, I LOVE irony. In this recently posted YouTube video clip, one happy slapper gets his when a pissed-off victim decides to slap him back -- out cold!!! Ha ha - I REALLY love it. And a link to the related story in the London Times here.

Fire Extinguisher Test

As with all mission-critical fire suppression systems, even the Air Force has to occasionally test out their foam sprayers that are built into hangars. These are the very hangars that often house billions of dollars worth of planes and equipment. Anyway, the testing crew sets up scaffolding inside the hanger so they can videotape the foam system working the way it's supposed to work. So here's an incredible inside look at what happens when the foam suppression system works TOO well from a test done at Ellsworth AFB in South Dakota. And if you want to check out the site for Ellsworth AFB as well, here's their link.

Evolution of Math

Last week I purchased a burger and fries at McDonalds for $3.58. The counter girl took my $4.00 and I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies. While looking at the screen on her register, I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried. Why do I tell you this? Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s......


Teaching Math In 1950

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?


Teaching Math In 1960

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?


Teaching Math In 1970

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?


Teaching Math In 1980

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20 Your assignment: Underline the number 20.


Teaching Math In 1990

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers.)


Teaching Math In 2006

Un ranchero vende una carretera de maderapara $100. El cuesto de la produccion era $80. Cuantos tortillas se puede comprar?

Remember Dioramas?

The Museum of Natural History is considered one of the best in the world. I still have fond memories of going there with my brothers when we stayed with our sister's family in Brooklyn. I took my own kids there when we went through New York one summer and they enjoyed it as much as I did when I first set foot in the place. Among the most popular exhibits are their famed Dioramas, those huge life-size recreations of scenes complete with stuffed animals (I know, I know --- not PETA-friendly but who cares?) from around the world. Alaska Brown Bears, American Bison and Mountain Gorillas to name a few. Despite their static nature, the awesome size of these dramatic dioramas seldom ceases to fascinate children of all ages. Anyway, the Museum now has an entire section of their website dedicated to their dioramas and you can spend almost as much time viewing the 360-degree panoramas as you might in real life.

Commercial of the Week: Blaupunkt Pimp My Ride

This one's made the rounds a few times but I still like it a lot. A short 15-second commercial for Blaupunkt sound systems for cars. Turn up the volume -- especially the bass -- for this one. (MPEG file approx. 2.5 Mb)

Easter's Coming...

Have you ever wondered what the Easter Bunny's really like the other 364 days of the year? Link to a new YouTube video here.

Product of the Year

Not sure where this skit came from (Kids in the Hall, maybe?) but it's really good (well, maybe just to guys but...). My Product of the Year Award. (Windows Media WMV file approx. 5.8 Mb)

No Need to Drink Coffee Anymore

Now I think I've seen almost everything. The folks at ThinkGeek have come up with the Buzzaire Caffeine Inhaler. Instead of heading off to your corner Starbucks for your daily cuppa, you can simply pull the Buzzaire out of your desk drawer and take a snort. Mind you, they warn people NOT to take more than 4 doses a day. Wonder if Starbucks might consider branding some of the refill cartridges?

P.S. -- Ahem - You also need to take a look at their April Fools Page! (Heh Heh)

40 Years Together

A woman awakens during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.

She finds him sitting at the dining room table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee.

"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up, "Do you remember 40 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 18?" he asks solemnly. The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive.

"Yes, I do," she replies.

The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when your mother caught us behind the couch making love?"

"Yes, I remember." says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues..."Do you remember when she shoved a shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 40 years?'"

"I remember that, too." she replies softly. He wipes another tear from his cheek and says "I would have gotten out today."

The pig that did this... (an Oldie but goodie)

An 18-year-old girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house, a mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the Ferrari and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, mother and the girl, and tells them, "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.

Additionally, if a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa and a $2,000,000 bank account.

If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory, a retail store and $3,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"

At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You try again."

From The Toronto Star: Once-in-lifetime time

Once-in-lifetime time

April 4, 2006

Some once-in-a-lifetime events are spectacular. Others are much more mundane.First love, winning the lottery and giving birth are just a few mind-blowing moments that make day-to-day life all the sweeter. The ability to recall the good times that life has shown us can make the bleakest day worth living. And one of the joys of life is that you just never know when something wonderful is going to pop up. Then there are other once-in-a-lifetime events that do not rekindle found memories, deliver excitement or question why we are here. One of these events will take place early tomorrow. At 2 minutes and 3 seconds after 1 a.m. on Wednesday, the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06. It will happen just this once in our lifetime.

Google April Fools Day Announcement

Google has traditionally broken some pretty interesting surprises over the past couple of years on April 1st. They announced 1 Gb gMail one year (now at over 2 Gb and still counting!). This year's leaked Beta is Google Romance, the first contextual-based dating site. I particularly like the second option in the right column: "Post multiple profiles with a bulk upload file, you sleaze"

April Fools!

Today's April Fools Day so here's a posting of The 10 Best Internet Spoofs as listed on WIRED. You may even recognize more than a few of them (including No. 1 -- the Neiman Marcus Cookie Recipe...)

Commercial of the Week from IKEA: Always Pick Up Your Toys

IKEA's ads are generally light, fun and well-filmed. This one's just a little funnier than most... (MPEG file approx. 2.2 Mb)

Senior Dress Codes

This one's been around the block a few times but it still holds true...

Many of us "Old Folks" (those over 50, WAY over 50, or hovering near 50) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. We are unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to Conform to current fashions. Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together And should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedo's and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Short shorts and varicose veins
12. Inline skates and a walker

And last, but not least...

13. Thongs and Depends

The Best Toaster

SLATE ran a fun article today by Tom Bartlett entitled Toast of the Town. I sure didn't know that the key component in a toaster, Nichrome (which is what the heating elements are made from), was invented over 100 years ago by chemist Albert Leroy Marsh.

Anyway, Bartlett takes on the daunting task of picking the best toaster on the market today from a field of 8 top contenders. Nice review.


And if you want to learn even more about toasters, check out Toaster.org.

How to Build an Airbus A380

Business Week just ran an article on how they build the world's largest commercial airplane, the AirBus A380. But there's also an even better video on GoogleVideos How to Build and Airbus A380 in 7 minutes. Wish Boeing could put out some cool PR stuff like this...

Why We Need to Make Sure Our Kids Get Sex Ed...

Italians vs. Other Europeans

Cute flash animation -- takes a bit of time to load.

Still Think You Need That New SUV?

If you think your current vehicle is overworked and overloaded, check out this collection of overloaded modes of transportation!

THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS ALL ABOUT!

My Note: Corny but touching and I felt worth passing along as well.

It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 a. m., when an elderly gentleman in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation. I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I then inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?" He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life." True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be. With all the jokes and fun that are in e-mails, sometimes there are some that come along that have an important message, and this is one of those kind. Just had to share it with you all.

The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.

Please share this with someone you care about.

Chris Bliss Diss

Remember that video of Chris Bliss juggling to the Beatles' tune that made it all over the web a week or so ago? (In case you didn't, click here.) Well, another dude named Jason released a new video on GoogleVideo that does Chris Bliss one (actually two!) better. This guy juggles FIVE balls to the strains of Carry That Weight... and he does it even more effortlessly! Check it out here.

This Just in from Last Friday's St. Patrick Day Celebration

Crowds Panic as Flood Threatens Ireland...

Smart Chinese Goldfish

The more stuff becomes available online, the zanier some of it gets. Just think: we'll be able to get clips of useless programs like this from China. But then again, I do like fish. Especially smart fish. (Windows Media wmv file approx. 740K)

Best Selling Albums of All Time (according to WIKI)

No one can say with any certainty how many copies of an album sold globally since there are no international bodies keeping an honest count. However, WIKI has a best-guesstimate list of the top-selling albums worldwide. Interestingly, Michael Jackson's Thriller tops the list as the all-time selling album with something like 50 million copies sold. The Beatles have sold more albums collectively than anyone else. Great list.

I Would Have Sh*t My Pants!

Holy crap! Take a look at this picture of what's left of an Audi TT after it got crushed on the freeway on Long Island by a tractor trailer and a bus. The driver of the truck was cited for carrying a load that was something like 16,000 lbs. overweight on bald tires. The video on the news clip was shot out the front window of a tour bus that was following the car when the truck came across the highway out of control. And the driver of the car? He survived with relatively minimal injuries -- and in one piece! Check out the video here (Windows Media WMV file).

100 MOST OFTEN MISSPELLED WORDS IN ENGLISH

The list of the 100 most misspelled words in English.

The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly

Good : Your wife is pregnant.
Bad : It's triplets.
Ugly : You had a vasectomy five years ago.

Good : Your wife's not talking to you.
Bad : She wants a divorce.
Ugly : She's a lawyer.

Good : Your son is finally maturing.
Bad : He's involved with the woman next door.
Ugly : So are you.

Good : Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad : You find several porn movies hidden there.
Ugly : You're in them.

Good : Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
Bad : You can't find your birth control pills.
Ugly : Your daughter borrowed them.

Good : Your husband understands fashion.
Bad : He's a cross-dresser.
Ugly : He looks better than you.

Good : You give the "birds and bees" talk to your daughter.
Bad : She keeps interrupting.
Ugly : With corrections.

Good : Your son is dating someone new.
Bad : It's another man.
Ugly : He's your best friend.

Good : Your daughter got a new job.
Bad : As a hooker.
Ugly : Your co-workers are her best clients.
Way ugly : She makes more money than you do.

360-degree View of Paris

As much as a lot of us may dislike the French these days, I still LOVE Paris! Here's a 360-degree view of Paris at night. If you look closely, you'll see the Eiffel Tower, the Seine, Notre Dame Cathedral and Montmartre. Beautiful. (Use the scroll bar at the bottom of your browser screen to scan the horizon.)

Check Out a Live Volcano!

The folks up in Alaska have sure found a neat way to bring in a lot of traffic to a website. Their Alaska Volcano Observatory (AVO) has had over 250 million hits (yes, that's 250 MILLION!) since the beginning of the year when they first started posting a live web cam link to the Augustine volcano on the south shores a few hundred miles down from Anchorage.


And while we're at it, here's a link to a webcam of Mount St. Helens in Washington.

Blue Water from Your Faucet!

Some geeks have too much time on their hands and too much money to spend prototyping some crazy-ass ideas! Want blue water to really come out of your faucet? Just get one of these blue LED attachments from ThinkGeek for a mere $14.99! And check out some of their other goodies while you're at it...

Having Fun Reading

When my kids and I first arrived in Seattle nearly 9 years ago (!), we were happy to find out that it had one of the most voracious appetites for book reading in the county. I don't know if you'd attribute it to the rainy weather or the dark days while riding the Metro buses to get around but you sure see a lot of people with their noses in books all the time. Hmm -- maybe that's why Amazon started up in Seattle...

In any event, Michelle and Brian Watters from Pickering, Ontario (Canada, eh?) decided to have some fun with book covers. Actually, the dust jackets that wrap around them. Most people just can't help looking at the cover of the books that other people are reading across the aisle from them on the bus. So what if you had a book that was titled, "How to Murder a Complete Stranger and Get Away with It."? Or how about other delightful conversation-starters like, "Do-it-Yourself Dentistry" or "How to Make your Grandmother a Porn Star." Or maybe the ever-popular "Perfecting the Art of Fart Projection"? Oh -- and my personal favorite, "The Nutritional Benefits of Nose Picking." You can view and purchase these great dust jackets on their site, FlapArt. Order a couple today and impress your friends!

Commercial of the Week from Toyota

This one's a new commercial for the RAV4 called Happy Together (remember the old Turtles hit from the 60's?). (Windows Media WMV file approx. 2.85 Mb)

Like Google Earth? You'll LOVE Google Mars!

If any of you have spent much time exploring Google Earth, you've probably marvelled at a lot of the things people have done with some of the satellite images of Earth using Google's simple interface. Well, since the new Mars Rover landed, Google has been gathering as many images of Mars as they can find and posted GoogleMars online today.



















While you're at it, you might also want to take a look at their earlier endeavor, Google Moon.



















And here's a link directly to NASA's Rover Mission site.

Like Shaking a Bottle of Ketchup

From a new Swedish movie, The Ketchup Effect, coming out in March. Here's a clip (with English subtitles) on the state of teenage romance: "Imagine you're holding a bottle of ketchup..." Cute...

Downloading Video Streams from the Internet

Have you ever wanted to download a video directly from iFilm, GoogleVideo or YouTube or any of those other streaming video sites? KeepVid allows you to paste the link for that video into their download bar so you can then right-click it for direct download. Don't know how long this site's going to be staying up but get 'em while you can...

The Kid from Brooklyn Rants about Starbucks

Check out this character going on and on about Starbucks (I don't blame him!). (Windows Media WMV file approx. 4.1 Mb) And here's even more from the obnoxious Kid from Brooklyn.

Enough About Bananas Already!

Over the past couple of years, useful information about bananas keeps recirculating in e-mails. So I thought I'd just post what I've gotten from everywhere on my blog one more time for all to read and forward. It's pretty much researched and confirmed with multiple sources.

The Power Behind Bananas

Doctors Home Remedy
If you want a quick fix for flagging energy levels, there is no better snack than a banana.

Containing three natural sugars-sucrose, fructose and glucose-combined with fiber a banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy. Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes. But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions making it a must to add to your daily diet.

Depression
According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain trypotophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.

PMS
Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.

Anemia
High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.

Blood Pressure
This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt making it the perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit! It's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.

Brain Power
200 students were helped through exams by eating bananas at breakfast, break and lunch in a bid to boost their brainpower. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.

Constipation
High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.

Hangovers
One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.

Heartburn
Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.

Morning Sickness
Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.

Mosquito bites
Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.

Nerves
Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system. Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and chips. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.

Ulcers
The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. The only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronic ulcer cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer, trypotophan.

Smoking
Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.

Stress
Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water-balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, there by reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.

Strokes
According to research in The New England Journal of Medicine eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40 percent!

Warts
Those keen on natural alternatives swear that, if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!

So you see, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around.

Redneck Women

What more is there to say? The title says it all! (Windows Media WMV file approx. 3.5 Mb)

Another Bud Light Commercial

While I wouldn't qualify this one as a Commercial of the Week, I'd still have to say that most of the Bud Light ads have been pretty original and funny. This one's called Roof Work. (Windows Media WMV file approx. 1.43 Mb)

Dumpster Diving Identity Theft

Are you paranoid enough to shred all of your credit card applications and other junk mail before tossing it all out? Well, this guy went and tore his app up into tiny pieces, taped it all back together, filled it out using a DIFFERENT address and used his cell number. In four weeks, the credit card company sent him a shiny new card with a $5000 credit limit on it! Unbelievable! And scary...

Want a Unique Goodie?

How about a white chocolate skull made from a cast of a real skull? Yummm...

For the Chef with Everything...

Instead of just using plain old string to tie your food up for cooking in the microwave (kinky!), try using the new plastic Food Loop.

One for PETA

I don't know where this one originated but I love it! It should even make the staunchest PETA member really happy: The Newfie fur coat. (Windows Media WMV file approx. 460K) (In case you didn't know, Newfies are Canada's beloved version of rednecks.)

The Rosetta Project

Wouldn't it be remarkable if someone used the power and reach of the Internet (OK, OK, Web 2.0 -- ha ha) to track and archive all the spoken languages of the world, past and present? One of those things that the Internet is supposed to be good for, right? Stanford University Libraries, The Long Now Foundation, The National Science Foundation and The National Science Digital Library have co-sponsored the Rosetta Project, an ambitious take on archiving the languages on Planet Earth. Check it out at The Rosetta Project. And you might even consider joining as a contributor. They're looking for researchers, linguists, researchers, donors etc.

Scientific Evidence on Beer

Last month, National University of Lesotho scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.

The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:

1) argued over nothing.
2) refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional.
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally
8) Had to sit down while urinating.

No further testing was considered necessary. Men -- Be forewarned!

From My "I-Want-One List"

Cool kitchen gadget that every kitchen should have!

Geek Fight Club

From out of the Valley comes the Geek Gentlemen's Fight Club. Where else would you see stuff like rolled-up magazine fighting and plastic knife duels? Click on the small video icons beside each weapon-of-choice to see clips of actual fights. Not for the waek-hearted; these guys take it seriously! But what would Ah-nold have to say about these girly-men?

What's Your Dog's Sign?

And while you're at it, take a look at Fido's horoscope. I see a big bone in your future...

Old and Unusual Roadside Attractions

I'm old enough to remember a lot of those cool buildings that dotted the roadways long before the superhighways crisscrossed the country. As a matter of fact, Seattle still has a couple of its own although most of them have now been torn down or moved away. Here's a site with someone's collection of old pitstops. I especially like the Beagle B&B and the Chest of Drawers (with the socks hanging out of one of them!).

Danes Finally Apologize for Muslim Cartoons

The official Danish Mohammed Cartoon apology site just went up here. Well said!

A Dirty Parrot Joke

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Geez, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"

The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."

"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"

"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird."

"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"

"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."

"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English can't you?"

"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."

The guy looks at the $20,000 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."

"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20; just make the guy an offer!"

The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.

Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, "Psssssssssssst," and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."

"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.

"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie."

"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"

"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.

"NO!" he exclaims. "And she let him?"

"Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over...."

Then the frantic guy demands, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"

"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"

Your Longitude and Latitude

It's kind of scary at times to see the information available at your fingertips online. Type in any US address and you can find its longitude and latitude.

Billboard of the Week

An ad agency in New Zealand designed this billboard for underwear maker, Bustop, with a gigantic skirt that actually blows up in the wind to reveal... their underwear!

Dogs vs. Cats

As seen in a dog's diary:

7am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6pm - Oh boy! Mom! My favorite!
7pm - Oh boy! Dad! My favorite!
8pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
11pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in a people bed! My favorite!

As seen in a cat's diary:

Day 1283 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre, little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow? I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I am.

Hmmm?. Not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing "allergies". Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.

But I can wait -- it's only a matter of time..

Why We Didn't Want to Take Grandpa to Mardi Gras

Cork Soakers

In recent years, Saturday Night Live has just plain... well -- SUCKED! Many of the original crews have left for Hollywood and the current cast and writers just don't seem to carry a good laugh any more. But once in a rare while, they come up with a real gem. Like this one with one of the Jackson sisters (is that Janet in her frat sweater?). (Windows Media WMV file approx. 6.12 Mb)

D-oh! They're REAL!

Whoa! There's just way too much stuff going on at YouTube today! This has got to be my favorite clip of the week. Someone actually went to the trouble of re-creating the entire 1-minute opening sequence of the Simpsons using real live actors and it's so-oo good! Check out Homer's crack as he races ahead of Marge's car into the garage; just like the cartoon!

Disneyland Main Street USA - 1956

Ah, how I remember the first time I saw footage of Walt Disney World in Anaheim California on television (it was in black-and-white as I recall!). Those memories stuck with me as I grew up and it was magical when a girlfriend and I got to visit DisneyLand in the early 70's for the first time.

Later, when my kids were born in Florida, we would make the trek with them to Disney World in Orlando. That magical feeling of anticipation never seemed to fade each time we walked through the gates into the Magic Kingdom. Thanks, Walt!

Visit Disneyland Main Street USA - 1956 - Google Video

Freeze Your Ass Off in Saskatchewan

I always forget how cold it gets in Saskatchewan, Canada. After living in Forida for over 20 years and then moving out to the moderate Northwest, you tend to forget how bad it gets in the prairies (and the rest of Canda for that matter!). Here's a short clip of a guy throwing a pot of boiling water into the freezing air on a typical -40c day in Saskatchewan.

Another Mastercard Pic

I love those Mastercard Priceless parodies that have spun off from the original commercials. A Canadian friend sent this one to me recently.

Just a Sign...

A Sign at a Business Establishment Philadelphia, PA:

"WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH 1000 ARAB TERRORISTS THAN WITH A SINGLE JEW"

This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a business in Philadelphia. Most would be outraged at the thought of such an inflammatory statement. One would think that anti-hate groups from all across the country would be marching on this business. And that the National Guard might have to be called to keep the angry crowds back.

But, perhaps in these stressful times, one might be tempted to let the proprietors simply make their statement. We are a society who holds "Freedom of Speech" as perhaps our greatest liberty.

And after all, it is just a sign.

You may ask what business would dare post such a sign?










Goldberg's Funeral Home

Just for Fun

This is great! I read this posting by a guy who spent $39 for 100 postage stamps. He used them to write to 100 different consumer companies requesting free samples of their products. You can see the general content of his requests and the responses (and rejections) to his letters on his site, aptly named The $39 Experiment. It does look like he's making a few bucks off his Google AdWords anyway...