P.O.'ed and Owns a Sharpie Marker

OMFG: Now I Think I've Seen Everything This Week!

Gizmodo has just posted a new low (or high) in sex dolls: The Hotdoll for Dogs! More pics on their site HERE.

Another Men vs. Women Graphic

Jon Stewart Helping Nancy Grace Along

...out the door. His piece on the closing of the Duke Rape Case says it all:

Ruder Than Imus

Imus gets fired and talking heads hit the airwaves. A mass shooting at Virginia Tech. Huge storm comes in on the Northeast. With all the crazy stuff starting off the week, something light for your Monday.

Celebrity Weight Gain

What might they look like in 10 - 15 years with extra pounds? HERE.

More Great Doormats

Nothing gets the message across like a good doormat. Why not tell 'em before they ring the doorbell? The collection is HERE.

Getting from New York to London Google Style

1. go to GoogleMaps
2. click on "get directions"
3. type "New York" in the first box (the "from" box)
4. type "London" in the second box (the "to" box)
5. hit Get Directions
6. scroll down to step #23

The Most Innovative Consumer Product I've Seen in Years

Every once in a while, I run into a consumer product that just hits the Now-Why-Didn't-I-Think-of-That category. Here's one so obvious that you just gotta slap your forehead: Magnetic Clothes Hangers. All the older solutions were linear -- literally. Closet rods hold clothes hangers in a straight line. As designed by Daniel.

An Oldie But Goodie: The Husband Store

A brand new store has just opened in London that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:

"You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!"

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 -These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have A Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives Store just across the street.

Thinking of Taking a Camping Trip in British Columbia?

This poster is a parody but it's mostly good advice.

Another Cool Use for YouTube

Wow! Just like the cops who ended up posting some surveillance tapes on YouTube to catch some perps, the Washington State Dept. of Transportation recently posted a couple of short 1-minute video clips that simulate what might happen to the SR520 floating bridge in the event of a windstorm or an earthquake. Well worth watching, especially if you live here in the Seattle area.

Seattle Video with Coldplay Soundtrack

For all my friends who haven't visited Seattle yet:

French AIDS Posters

Gets the point across...

Smart Dog or Lazy Dog?

However you look at this dog, he definitely doesn't like water. But then again, do you blame him? Check out the pool.

School Bus 1, Hummer 0

Google's Annual April Fools' Day Prank

Not to be outdone, Google announced their new FREE in-home wireless broadband service! Aptly named TiSP -- short for Toilet iSP -- the service comes complete with a self-installation kit. Instructions for Installation are HERE. And the Press Announcement is HERE.

Hyundai Avante Stunt Driving Team

Now THIS is some fancy driving. My favorite is about 6 minutes in and the guy changes the tire... well, you'll see.

Want to Feel Small?

In the universal scheme of things, we're pretty damn small. You can get some idea of just how small by spending a little time checking out a new Nikon site called Universale HERE. And believe it or not, the entire piece is done in flash.

Why Men Never Get Published in Dear Abby

Dear Abby,

I’ve never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision. I’ve suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.

The usual signs… Phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up.

My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, “Just some friends from work, you don’t know them.”

I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has gotten out of the car round the corner. Why? Maybe she wasn’t in a taxi?

I once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn’t want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.

I decided I was going to park my Harley Davidson motorcycle next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my Harley, that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be leaking a little oil.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?

Sincerely,
Jilted

Great Doormat

The message depends on whether you're coming or going. You can get your own from a shop called Suck UK Design.

South Park Theory of Evolution NSFW

Who's the Environmentalist?

Look over the descriptions of the following two houses and see if you can tell which house belongs to an environmentalist:

HOUSE # 1:
















A 20-room mansion (not including 8 bathrooms) heated by natural gas. Add on a pool (and a pool house) and a separate guest house all heated by gas. In ONE MONTH ALONE this mansion consumes more energy than the average American household in an ENTIRE YEAR. The average bill for electricity and natural gas runs over $2,400.00 per month. In natural gas alone (which last time we checked was a fossil fuel), this property consumes more than 20 times the national average for an American home. Oh -- and this house is not in a northern or Midwestern "snow belt," either -- it's in the South.

HOUSE # 2:

















Designed by an architecture professor at a leading national university, this house incorporates every "green" feature current home construction can provide. The house contains only 4,000 square feet (4 bedrooms) and is nestled on a high prairie in the American southwest. A central closet in the house holds geothermal heat pumps drawing ground water through pipes sunk 300 feet into the ground. The water (usually 67 degrees F.) heats the house in winter and cools it in summer. The system uses no fossil fuels such as oil or natural gas, and it consumes 25% of the electricity required for a conventional heating/cooling system. Rainwater from the roof is collected and funneled into a 25,000 gallon underground cistern. Wastewater from showers, sinks and toilets goes into underground purifying tanks and then into the cistern. The collected water then irrigates the land surrounding the house. Flowers and shrubs native to the area blend the property into the surrounding rural landscape.



HOUSE #1 (20 room energy guzzling mansion) is outside of Nashville,Tennessee. It is the abode of that renowned environmentalist (and filmmaker) Al Gore.

HOUSE #2 (model eco-friendly house) is on a ranch near Crawford, Texas,also known as "the Texas White House," it is the private residence of the President of the United States, George W. Bush.

And a piece from the Washington Times HERE.

Don't you just love hypocrisy?

Employee of the Year

No idea who to credit for this picture in my Inbox but here it is...

Jerome Murat

Jerome Murat is a performance artist from France and this is an 8-minute clip from one of his stage shows. (Not your typical mime act, I tell ya!)

jerome murat

Microsoft Tech Support

As originally posted on New York Nerd:

Dress Up Mohammed Page

Well, if those Danish political cartoons didn't piss off the EuroMuslims enough last year, then the Dress Up Mohammed site might! Just go out and kill a whole bunch more people to convince everyone how peaceful you are.

Seattle Times' Annual Peeps Contest

Every year, the Seattle Times sponsors their tacky -- but fun -- Peeps Contest (article and call for entries HERE). Artist Mike Leavitt has submitted his Anna Nicole peep sculpture. I love it!

Greetings... from Hell.

I had heard of underground coal mine fires before but have never seen one up close or in video. Here's a post from some people who went through Centralia, Pennsylvania last year and took a lot of pictures. The entire town was completely evacuated and has been a ghost town since 1962. Spooky!

Original Drunk Squirrel Video

No animals were harmed in the making of this home video. Apparently, these people came home to find this squirrel that had gotten drunk from eating their fermented pumpkins...

Greatest Urinals

An incredible collection of the most amazing urinals as posted HERE.

Never Be First or Last in a Real Estate Deal

From ChongQing (formerly known as Chung King) comes this story of a diehard who decided to hold out and be the last man standing in a new real estate development. You never want to be the guy who is approached first when a new project is being assembled. But you sure as hell REALLY don't want to be the last guy out either. Especially when you're asking for an astronomical sum for your little piece of earth. As reported in the local paper Sou Fun.

Don't Forget Daylight Savings Time is THIS Weekend!

As shown on Comedy Central's The Daily Show episode Aclockalypse Now (Viacom is now trying to host their clips on their own sites after yanking 'em all off YouTube).

Apple Commercial Mashup

Remember Apple's 1984 Commercial for the new Macintosh? Here's a political re-make on YouTube:

The Queen Does deNiro

IMHO Craig Ferguson is the funniest late show host (and probably the most consistently stoned). Here's a clip from one of last week's shows that was aired right after the Oscars.

Bob Dylan Dr. Seuss Mashup

Something old Bob Dylan fans will appreciate at Dylan Hears a Who. And I love that scratchy, tiny turntable...

The Amazing Rototron Cornbobber

Get yours today! Watch the infomercial:

Malfunction Junctions

A 19-year old driver went off the Bellevue Way exit on I-90 this past Saturday night. I mean, REALLY went off the exit. Another driver who witnessed the airborne accident had called it in but police and highway patrol looked for the car and couldn't find it. 12 hours later, the car was spotted in the water 50 feet below the ramp and the dead driver was pulled from the wreckage. (Seattle Times article HERE.)

What I didn't know was that there's a name for traffic engineering nightmares: Malfunction Junctions. In fact, Wikipedia actually has a listing of some of the worst in the US complete with Google aerial views. Then I came across another blog posting for some of the wackiest ones from around the world HERE. So here's to traffic engineers everywhere: What were they thinking of?

An Early News Piece from the 80's on "The Internet"

As shown on the CBC in Canada and now posted on YouTube. Very prescient. I love how easily so much of these bits are now available on... The Internet. (No mention of Al Gore...)

Tired of Heroes?

Trailer for the new series:

Monty Python Spamalot Game

From AddictingGames.

Great Typography

Using the audio from a very familiar scene out of Pulp Fiction, the folks at Motionographer produced this short QuickTime movie using some creative typography. A very creative use of type.

Cool Product of the Week

The Roberts Toot Tone:

Damon Wayans Gets a Prostate Exam

And by none other than Lou Rawls as the doctor (no idea why it's dubbed in Spanish at the beginning!)

YouTube Video: A World without America

Speaks for itself:

3D Pictures on Your Computer Screen!

What an original approach to creating a 3D look with photos! More examples HERE. Even though this site is over in Germany, do some of the pics look like they're from Burning Man?

Possibly the Worst Commercial of the Year

Caught a clip of this on Craig Ferguson tonight and HAD to find and share it:

Living Wills

Living Wills: Be careful to say what you mean.

While watching the SuperBowl last weekend, my wife and I got into a conversation about life and death and the need for living wills.

During the course of the conversation I told her that I "...never want to exist in a vegetative state, dependent on electronic machines and taking fluids from a bottle.."

She got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all my beer.

Nora, The Piano-Playing Cat

And the website is HERE.

I'd Hate to See It When They Flush!

Another one of those I-didn't-know-they-had-these concepts. Pictures of the world's biggest drain hole (link HERE).

Real Home Remedies that Work

Are you tired of all those ridiculous lists of home remedies people keep forwarding in their e-mails? Well, here's a collection that really works so you can send something back to all the people who have been so helpful.

Amazingly Simple Home Remedies

1. If you're choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto - the blockage will be removed almost instantly.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. You can avoid arguments with the Missus about lifting the toilet seat just by using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers - simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Always remember to use an egg timer.

5. A mousetrap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you'll forget all about the toothache.

8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are. In life, you only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move but should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move but does, use the duct tape.

9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

11. Some people are like Slinkies: They're not really good for anything but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

A Collection of Strange Statues from Around the World

Seattle's Fremont Bridge Troll is No. 9 in this fantastic collection HERE.

What the F*ck IS that Thing?

Weirdest bug I've ever seen. (A wood asp, according to the post.)

One Weird Ass Bug - Click Here to Watch

Speaking Foreign Tongues

Just for fun at OddCast. And her eyes follow your cursor around too.

Some Serious Kung-Fu

As posted on Yahoo! videos.

More Photoshop Animals

These are some of the best Photoshopped animal pics I've seen. The collection is HERE.

Commercial of the Week from Britain

This is a very thought-provoking commercial from the UK. Not a funny one this time.

Performance Art at its best

Something Amazing - video powered by Metacafe

Never-Seen-Before Pictures of Hiroshima

WARNING: Some of these pictures will make you sick to your stomach. As posted on Fogonazos.com.

This is Steve Ballmer's Office?

If this recent picture from the New York Times is real, then I take back a lot of what I've said about him (but not everything)!

Commercial of the Week: What Hands Can Do

From Volkswagen. Just a nice and simple-looking commercial.

SHHH -- Society for Hand Held Hushing

A nice collection of printable cards to hand out to your favorite cell phone offenders. Downloadable as a PDF file HERE.

Columbian Public Service Anti-Drug Commercial

Speaks for itself, no English subtitles needed:

MythBusters Fan?

Every MythBusters Myth all on one web page HERE Are they confirmed, plausible or busted?

Best Condom Ad

Great Hand Jobs!

Get your mind out of the gutter! Hand painting at its best HERE.

"Commercial" of the Week

Cheating Wife - video powered by Metacafe

The Cowboy Boots

(Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this one!)


Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots?

He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat.

She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet."

She looked, and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet.

He then announced, "These aren't my boots."

She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to. Once again, she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet.

No sooner had they gotten the boots off when he said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em."

Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But she managed to muster up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots back on his feet again.

Helping him into his coat, she asked, "Now, where are your mittens?"

He said, "I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots."

She will be eligible for parole in three years.

Worth1000 Contest: Newest Apple Products from CES

Another fun Worth1000 Photoshop contest to see what might be the next cool Apple products to come.

C/net Covers the New Boeing 747-8 Tour

Boeing recently unveiled the new interior of the 747-8 Dreamliner and C/net was there to cover it in their slideshow :

For my Pregnant Friends

Hey what's up with this? I have two friends named Laura, both expecting babies in February. This one's for them!

Dumbass of the Week

The video speaks for itself.

Let Virgin America Fly

Sir Richard Branson owns the global Virgin brand. From music to publishing to airlines, he brings quality products at common man prices. His most recent attempt to bring his value business model to America is Virgin America, a luxury-filled plane at regular prices. But the FAA won't give him a license to operate in the domestic markets. So to get their message across to the US air traveler, they've produced their own viral video clip to show you what you're missing. If watching the video pisses you off, you can then follow up and go to letVAfly.com and send a message telling the regulators to let 'em fly! (Besides, I love the name!)

Ha -- English Translations from Chinese Subtitles

This guy bought a Chinese bootleg DVD of Star Wars III Revenge of the Sith. It looks like whoever made these copies took it upon themselves to re-translate the Chinese subtitles back into a very poor English interpretation. I mean VER-RY poor. I love it! Check out all the sample screens here.

Bizarre Video

As shown on YouTube.

What Does Color Blindness Look Like?

I was surprised when I first learned that color blindness doesn't actually mean you can't see certain colors. Color blind people might see the colors very differently or very similarly depending on their condition. Vischeck is a website that has some interesting information as well as clear examples on the variations of color blindness. They also have a special page that applies an algorithm to images to help people with color blindness to "see" the colors they're missing.

All of this reminds me of the first time I'd encountered someone with color blindness. I was in my early 20's and had gone into business with a friend of mine. One part of our shop was devoted to t-shirts with customized artwork and slogans that could be ironed on to order. Greg was the tall, funny kid who lived across the street from my house and we'd hired him to be our delivery driver. But after days of pestering us to work the front counter, we finally relented and let him work up front one morning when he didn't have any deliveries. About five minutes later, Greg comes running back to my desk in the back, whispering, "Hey Robert -- Could you help me out up front with a customer?"

As we headed up to the counter, I asked him, "What's the problem? This guy giving you a hard time, Greg?" To which he muttered back, "I'm colorblind. I can't tell which t-shirts are red!" After helping him take care of the customer, I think we all ended up spending an hour or two asking him all sorts of questions about his condition; when did he first find out, what's it like, what does he see... Being artists, my partner and I were completely fascinated. Oh -- and we ended up tagging the shelves of t-shirts so that the colors were marked on labels so Greg could help out at the front counter.

In the end, do we really know who actually sees normally and who sees differently?

Do You Really Want to Know How Long You're Going to Live?

Then answer these questions honestly in this Longevity Calculator developed by a couple of Harvard Medical School researchers. It says I'm supposed to live to 96 (!??). Not sure if that's good or bad.

Love Poem Generator

For all you budding romantics out there! Hit up CraigsList and send them all a Love Poem using the Love Poem Generator.

Infectious Laugh

A friend sent me a link to this YouTube video entitled, Dad at Comedy Barn. You'll know what I mean when you get around 1:30 into the clip.

IMPORTANT: PMS Survival Guide for Men

A must-see!

When It Comes Time to Say Hasta la Vista, Baby!

One of the editors at PC World took it upon himself to join a whole bunch of different online services and groups just to see what it would take to cancel them later. Sadly, most of the results aren't all too surprising. The worst offenders were the ones which made it next-to-impossible for the average user to find out how to cancel their service or subscription.

I'm personally surprised to see that EarthLink (my ISP for many years) is only listed as SOME Hassle rather than BIG Hassle but I guess some of the others might be even worse (if you can imagine that!). One of the main reasons I'm still with EarthLink is that they owe me so much money right now that the only way to get it all back is to continue with their service at a ridiculously low monthly fee so they can pay me back over time (they claim they can't refund more than 60 days to any account -- what's up with THAT?!!!).

Anyway, link to the article is HERE. Check out the complete list.

The Simpsons Done Anime Style

Once in a while, something is so incredibly well done, you just have to kick back and appreciate it. Spacecoyote in DeviantArt.com does her unique anime takes on other famous cartoon characters. Herewith, her Simpsonzu. And check out her Futurama interpretation while you're on her site.

George Carlin: The Planet is Fine

Certainly one of my favorite George Carlin monologues: The Planet is Fine. In his typical approach, Carlin lays out the reasons why the Earth is doing just fine, thank you very much. In two parts as shown on YouTube HERE and HERE.

From WiseGeek: What Does 200 Calories Look Like?

OK -- for all you New Year's Resolution freaks hell-bent on losing weight this year (again!), this visual page from WiseGeek shows 200 calories of just about everything you might eat. Some of it is really surprising! It takes just half of a Jack in the Box cheeseburger to make 200 calories.

The Good Dog!

Type in something on this site for this good doggie to do. (great Flash code.) Try stuff like Sit, Roll Over, Jump, Fetch, Run... then check out Kiss if you're brave!