[This is too funny! No offense intended to anyone in Arkansas that I might happen to know... Wait! Wait! I don't KNOW anyone in Arkansas!]
A small zoo in Arkansas received a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the gorilla - a female - became very difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in season. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available to take care of the situation.
Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby Lee had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species. The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition: Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?
Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under four conditions.
"First", Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.
"Second", he said, "You can't never tell no one about this." The Keeper again readily agreed to this condition.
"Third", Bobby Lee said, "I want all the chil'run raised Southern Baptist." Once again, the Keeper agreed.
"And last of all", Bobby Lee stated, "You gotta give me another week to come up with the $500.00."