Elephant Stew

Cut one elephant into small bite-sized pieces (this takes about two months). Add enough gravy to cover. Cook over kerosene fire for four weeks at 465 deg. F. This will serve about 3,800. If more are expected, then two rabbits may be added, but do this only if absolutely necessary because most people don't like hare in their stew.

I Want One! USB Humping Dog

Serious Weight Loss

This guy has got to be one of the most dramatic weight loss stories I've ever seen. The entire set of photos is HERE and they document his entire transformation into the new dude he is today! After his remarkable weight loss, he had to undergo operations to get rid of all that excess skin. Whew! (BTW 1 kg = 2.2 lbs so he lost over 350 lbs!)

Commercial of the Week from Germany

The Paycheck

Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little 5-year-old girl and some construction workers that makes you believe that we CAN make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time...

A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a check for a couple of dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the two dollar "paycheck" she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with the crew building the house next door to us."

"My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will if those assholes at Home Depot ever deliver the damn sheet rock..."

IKEA Says Tidy Up

Three great IKEA commercials from Europe that will probably never run over here.

Cool Elevator Trick

Try this one out on Monday!

Favorite Movie Lines

Time Travel for Amateurs

From AtomFilms: "How much would you pay to hire a couple of goons to travel back in time and be your playground enforcers?"

Zombie Food Pyramid

Best Cop Chase EVER!

You gotta see this to believe it. Wonder what the guy did?

Ah Ha Ha Ha Ha

Dumbass of the Day...

A Practical World Stats Clock

Want to know the population of the world at this very moment? How about divorces in the US or current astrological sign? Nice little piece of Flash coding HERE.

Where are They Today? Part 79.

Remember this cover from the breakthrough Nirvana Nevermind album released in 1991? My son and his friends played it constantly and it became the anthem CD for teen angst in the early 90's.

















Here's the kid - Spencer Eldin - who was the swimming baby on that cover. He's 17 years old today! Here's the blurb about the album on Wikipedia HERE and they include background on the idea behind the cover as well as a link to more information about Spencer.

Chances of a Man Winning an Argument

At last! A real data chart to back it up! Ha Ha.

Why Little Kids Should Never Do Crack!

South Pacific Magic

Check out this set of pictures that a couple took while cruising the South Pacific in their yacht. A once-in-a-lifetime event - if you're lucky. And we get to see the pictures. So you gotta wonder about ships that simply disappear in the middle of the ocean...

What Can You Buy on eBay?

It never ceases to amaze me - some of the stuff people post for sale on eBay (and actually sell!). And the Buyers that buy this stuff! Take this American Motors Eagle Premiere. Nothing different about it really. Except for the cut right down the middle of this car. Check out the 15 pics posted HERE.

Departmentally Classifying Employees

Departmentally Classifying Employees

1. Put 400 bricks in a closed room.
2. Put your new hires in the room and close the door.
3. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours.
4. Then analyze the situation:

• a. If they are counting the bricks, put them in the Accounting Department.
• b. If they are recounting them, put them in Auditing.
• c. If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in Engineering.
• d. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in Planning.
• e. If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations.
• f. If they are sleeping, put them in Security.
• g. If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in Information Technology
• h. If they are sitting idle, put them in Human Resources.
• i. If they say they have tried different combinations, they are looking for more, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in Sales.
• j. If they have already left for the day, put them in Marketing.
• k. If they are staring out of the window, put them in Strategic Planning.
• l. If they are talking to each other, and not a single brick has been moved, congratulate them and put them in Top Management.
• m. Finally, if they have surrounded themselves with bricks in such a way that they can neither be seen nor heard from, put them in Congress.

Check Out Your American Accent

Take the test for yourself HERE.

My own accent results (in spite of my Canadian accent!): Midland! ("Midland" is not necessarily the same thing as "Midwest") The default, lowest-common-denominator American accent that newscasters try to imitate. Since it's a neutral accent, just because you have a Midland accent doesn't mean you're from the Midland.

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

Great Comeback of the Year

From my friend, Betty, who has a son on his way over to Iraq:

OH HELL YEAH!

You Gotta Love This Comeback

One of my sons serves in the military. He is still stateside, here in California. He called me yesterday to let me know how warm and welcoming people were to him, and his troops, everywhere he goes, telling me how people shake their hands, and thank them for being willing to serve, and fight, for not only our own freedoms but so that others may have them also.

But he also told me about an incident in the grocery store he stopped at yesterday, on his way home from the base. He said that ahead of several people in front of him stood a woman dressed in a burkha.

He said when she got to the cashier, she loudly remarked about the U.S. flag lapel pin the cashier wore on her smock. The cashier reached up and touched the pin and said proudly, "Yes, I always wear it and probably always will."

The woman in the burkha then asked the cashier when she was going to stop bombing her countrymen, explaining that she was Iraqi.

A gentleman standing behind my son stepped forward, putting his arm around my son's shoulders, and nodding towards my son, said in a calm and gentle voice to the Iraqi woman:

"Lady, hundreds of thousands of men and women like this young man have fought and died so that YOU could stand here, in MY country and accuse a check-out cashier of bombing YOUR countrymen. It is my belief that had you been this outspoken in YOUR own country, we wouldn't need to be there today. But, hey - if you have now learned how to speak out so loudly and clearly, I'll gladly buy you a ticket and pay your way back to Iraq so you can straighten out the mess in YOUR country that you are obviously here in MY country to avoid."

Everyone within hearing distance cheered!

-- Betty

Women in Art Morphing

As shown on YouTube -- simply beautiful work.

From glumbert.com - Shift Happens

From glumbert.com - Shift Happens

Spelling Bee Competition

What's wrong with THIS picture from a Spelling Bee?

Liquid Sculpture from Martin Waugh

This is a collection of stop motion photographs of liquids caught in one frame of time from photographer, Martin Waugh HERE. You can purchase prints on the site. Beautiful.

Google in 20 Years

As brought to you on Flickr by the.voyager.

San Francisco Right After the 1906 Earthquake

They took some incredible panorama shots in those days. One amazingly well-preserved photograph!

No, I Didn't Post This

But it sure sounds familiar! Ha Ha Ha! Read the rest of the piece HERE. The last sentence is my favorite.

What Does Gas Cost in Other Parts of the World?

I still remember my travels in Europe from the late 60's and 70's when gas was well under a buck over here in North America. After checking my math a couple of times just to get over the shock, I came to the realization that gas was around $4.00 a gallon in most of the European countries even back then. Back in Canada these days, by the time you calculate the liters to US gallons and the Canadian dollars to US dollars, Canadian gas runs somewhere around $4.50 - $5.00 a gallon (USD)! Hmmm -- maybe that's why my daughter has me fill up her tank for her when she comes back down here from Vancouver every couple of weeks...

Anyway, WNBC Channel 4 from New York did a recent slide show of what gas costs in other countries. There's more than one surprise in there; for example, gas is as low as 17¢ a gallon in Hugo Chavez' Venezuela.

Applying for a Job at IKEA

Motley Crue Wants to Keep Paris Hilton in Jail!

Sign Motley Crue's petition to The Governator to keep Paris Hilton in jail. On their MySpace page HERE (lower your volume before going there!).

Tennessee Pot Farm

Check out this site complete with photos. If you read further down, you'll see how these guys got caught.

Whacked Greeting Cards

Sick and tired of all those smarmy e-cards? How about something completely different? SomeEcards.

How to Look Busy at Work

Download these forms HERE and walk around the office like you're actually doing something!

Top 10 Redneck Scrapbook Pics

Neal Boortz has an ongoing post from his picture collection of redneck shots that his visitors send him. HERE's a link to his Top 10 from 2006. My personal favorite? The Redneck Electric Toothbrush. (Of course!)

How Fair Use and Copyright Work

Everything the layman really needs to know about Fair Use and Copyright in 10 minutes. As compiled into a parody using a series of clips from none other than Disney animations to get the point across. Originally presented by Bucknell law professor Eric Faden on the CyberLaw site HERE. And of course, already up on YouTube. Check it out before it gets a takedown notice from Disney!

For All You Pessimists Out There

The Pessimist's Mug available HERE for $9.95 each.

Power of Numbers

This site is absolutely the most impressive way I've ever seen to impress the impact of numbers in a dramatically visual way.

This example is an enlargement from the piece Plastic Bottles (2007) which "depicts two million plastic beverage bottles, the number used in the US every five minutes."

Latawnya, The Naughty Horse

So this librarian discovers an obscure "children's" book on the shelf while cleaning out the old stuff (referred to as "weeding" in librarian circles BTW). You have to read the book online HERE to completely appreciate it. I kind of doubt this made it any award-winning acclaim.

Fight Al Gore: Buy a Carbon Debit!

Don't like Al Gore and the Left's Carbon Credit Loonie Tunes? Well, you can buy a Carbon DEBIT on CarbonCreditKillers.com. I love it! Great parody!

The Weirdest-Ass Post in Months

Yow! All I can say is, "Beat this post!" This is one strange piece of writing (HERE). And yes, he's right -- we don't know insane.

Borat Shows How to Do a Job Interview

Microsoft oPhone will Kick iPhone's Ass!

Ah Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!

Snow White's Apology

Tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. Disney will hold a press conference to apologize for the Seven Dwarfs singing "Hi Ho, Hi Ho" in the story, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Current plans are to remove from sale all items associated with this racist epic including books, dolls, apparel and

movies.

Later in the week the Seven Dwarfs will appear on the Al Sharpton radio show to make individual apologies and undergo several hours of groveling.

Jesse Jackson has not been contacted for comment. His office stated that he and his personal secretary were attending a meeting in the Bahamas. His people at PUSH hinted that a large protest is being scheduled at Disney World.

Snow White couldn't be reached for comment but later, she and Jesse are meeting privately to discuss the matter.

Earlier in the week, Blackbeard was fired and escorted off the premises for uttering his trademark, "Ho, ho, ho and a bottle of rum.

Popular Mechanics Debunks the 9/11 Conspiracy Myths - March 2005

This crisp and well-documented answer to the various conspiracy theories about the 9/11 attacks was first published as a cover story in the March, 2005 issue of Popular Mechanics.

Experiment with McDonald's Food

Brought to you by Morgan Spurlock, the creator of the hit indie film, Supersize Me. Glad I stopped eating fast food like this. Guess which item lasted the longest? Gross!

So Much for Copyright Promises in China

Bloggers everywhere have been posting links and images of this 'It's NOT a rip-off of DisneyWorld' children's theme park in China. Unbelievably blantant thievery on a level like I've never seen. Oh -- and that's not Minnie Mouse with Donald duck in the picture; it's a cat with big round ears, according to the park's owners.

Pulp Muppets on YouTube

Winners of the I Look like My Dog Contest

From a pet food company posted HERE.

What Can You Say About an Ugly Baby?

Finally Another Great Commercial of the Week!

Mr. T sells Snickers!

Goodbye to the Normals

An incredibly cute clip from an upcoming feature from Robbie Williams' Rudebox. The kid's a natural!

Phuc Vu Thong Dich!

Well-intended signs can make for interesting reading. Especially when you're sitting around in the hospital Emergency waiting room for hours. I took my daughter in to Vancouver General yesterday afternoon to get checked for signs of meningitis after she kept getting sicker and sicker all week long. After clearing over an hour of bureaucratic waiting, form-filling and more waiting, they finally moved us into the "registered patient waiting area" -- to wait some more before she finally got assigned to an examination room.

Well, you can only read so many health brochures and magazines so you start looking around for something -- anything -- else to read. This sign went completely unnoticed until I pointed it out and suddenly everyone in the waiting room noticed it. Sometimes, English translation can create interesting reading (This one's for you, Thach!)...

Ant Nests

Yep. Ant nests. This dude over at Florida State University either loves to study how ants live or he just likes pouring Plaster of Paris into ant hills. Either way, the results are simply incredible after he unearths the dried plaster molds of the ant nests. Here's a link to the article and the attached pics from the Journal of Insect Science.

The Best Error Page

Here's a screenshot of the page title. Read the rest of it HERE. There's actually some good advice!

I'd Hate to be Drunk AND Need a Pee...

Inside the Magic 8 Ball

Ever wonder how a Magic 8 Ball does its magic? The folks at hanttula.com have dissected one so you won't have to.

Finally! Family Cheat Sheet Revealed!

First cousin, twice removed. Or how about third cousin, once removed? Where does every one of those cousins stand in your family tree? At last, a cheat sheet to figure out where to find everyone in your family line.

The History of Technology in One Picture

A brilliant cartoon from Andy Singer's No Exit.

The 2-Minute F*ckin' Short Version of Pulp Fiction

The title says it all...

P.O.'ed and Owns a Sharpie Marker

OMFG: Now I Think I've Seen Everything This Week!

Gizmodo has just posted a new low (or high) in sex dolls: The Hotdoll for Dogs! More pics on their site HERE.

Another Men vs. Women Graphic

Jon Stewart Helping Nancy Grace Along

...out the door. His piece on the closing of the Duke Rape Case says it all:

Ruder Than Imus

Imus gets fired and talking heads hit the airwaves. A mass shooting at Virginia Tech. Huge storm comes in on the Northeast. With all the crazy stuff starting off the week, something light for your Monday.

Celebrity Weight Gain

What might they look like in 10 - 15 years with extra pounds? HERE.

More Great Doormats

Nothing gets the message across like a good doormat. Why not tell 'em before they ring the doorbell? The collection is HERE.

Getting from New York to London Google Style

1. go to GoogleMaps
2. click on "get directions"
3. type "New York" in the first box (the "from" box)
4. type "London" in the second box (the "to" box)
5. hit Get Directions
6. scroll down to step #23

The Most Innovative Consumer Product I've Seen in Years

Every once in a while, I run into a consumer product that just hits the Now-Why-Didn't-I-Think-of-That category. Here's one so obvious that you just gotta slap your forehead: Magnetic Clothes Hangers. All the older solutions were linear -- literally. Closet rods hold clothes hangers in a straight line. As designed by Daniel.

An Oldie But Goodie: The Husband Store

A brand new store has just opened in London that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:

"You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!"

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 -These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have A Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives Store just across the street.

Thinking of Taking a Camping Trip in British Columbia?

This poster is a parody but it's mostly good advice.

Another Cool Use for YouTube

Wow! Just like the cops who ended up posting some surveillance tapes on YouTube to catch some perps, the Washington State Dept. of Transportation recently posted a couple of short 1-minute video clips that simulate what might happen to the SR520 floating bridge in the event of a windstorm or an earthquake. Well worth watching, especially if you live here in the Seattle area.

Seattle Video with Coldplay Soundtrack

For all my friends who haven't visited Seattle yet:

French AIDS Posters

Gets the point across...

Smart Dog or Lazy Dog?

However you look at this dog, he definitely doesn't like water. But then again, do you blame him? Check out the pool.

School Bus 1, Hummer 0

Google's Annual April Fools' Day Prank

Not to be outdone, Google announced their new FREE in-home wireless broadband service! Aptly named TiSP -- short for Toilet iSP -- the service comes complete with a self-installation kit. Instructions for Installation are HERE. And the Press Announcement is HERE.

Hyundai Avante Stunt Driving Team

Now THIS is some fancy driving. My favorite is about 6 minutes in and the guy changes the tire... well, you'll see.