Spray It -- Don't Say It!

From the restrooms of the Washington DC National Zoo. (Found posted on Echos of Cold Moon) Something I surely didn't know and perhaps didn't WANT to know!

Why We Need the Internet

Hilarious animation using a song from the Broadway play AvenueQ.

Where the Hell is Matt?

It's Friday and I came across this 3½-minute video on YouTube called Where the Hell is Matt? It's silly and might even strike you as a little trite; but I did find it light-hearted and thought it might bring a smile to your face like it did to me.

Nasty Photo

Back in late June, we took a short vacation to the Washington Coast when one of Donna's old friends came out to visit her in Seattle. I forgot to post this picture of a sign that had caught my eye as I was walking up a street in downtown Port Angeles. I had to do a double-take when I first saw it and then realized that the sign actually said something different as you walked closer towards the restaurant. Nasty Chinese Restaurant!

Roommates

Never do crazy stuff in your dorm room if you have a sneaky roommate. Wonder if he killed the guy after he posted the video?

Commercial of the Week (at last)

At last: A new, funny commercial for the week. And it's for life insurance (?!!). Link is HERE on VeryFunnyAds.

Wow! Breathtaking Ride Through Paris!

You think I have too much time on my hands? This guy did a double mashup, combining Google Maps and Google Video. He takes an 8-minute clip from a 1978 Claude LeLouche film taken by a camera mounted on the hood of a Ferrari 275 GTB that was diven by a professional Formula 1 driver through the streets of Paris AND he combines it with a Google Map of Paris that tracks his ride in the film. (Just follow the directions on the page careullyfor best esults.) Apparently, when LeLouch requested a permit to close off the streets for safety, the cost was so phohibitive that they simply decided to shoot without one. Whichi what makes this such an even more thrilling piece of film work. All I can say is: WOW!!!

A Picture is Worth A Thousand Words

Now let's see... Aunt Minnie is in the middle and Cousin Laverne is on the left. Or was Cousin Laverne in the middle and Aunt Minnie was on the left? Why even bother wasting the film?

Religions of the World

This t-shirt pretty much covers it all.

What Your Dog is REALLY Doing in the Backyard

The clip speaks for itself... (Windows Media WMV format approx. 1.36 Mb)

Obsessive Compulsive Cat

...with a toilet flushing disorder! Click to play or go to YouTube.

Terrorist Funnies

An exceptionally fresh and witty comic strip that occasionally pokes fun at our favorite Islamofascist terrorists: Check out Wondermark by Dave Malki.

Opening a beer with a Piece of Paper

Just what it says. All in a YouTube video.

Test Your Bandwidth Free

This has got to be the coolest site I've seen for testing your bandwidth. You can choose from test locations from all over the globe by using the interactive map; they even let you save your results for future reference and to compare notes with your friends. Go to SpeedTest.net

Tech Support - Help with Wife 1.0

Dear Tech Support:


Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5 and Racing 3.6 no longer run , crashing the system whenever selected.


I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!


Thanks,

A Troubled User

______________________________________

REPLY:


Dear Troubled User:



This is a very common problem that men complain about.



Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING !!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.


You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings: Alimony - Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.



The best course of action is to enter the command C:\ APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.



Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2 .


However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!



WARNING!!! DO NOT - under any circumstances - install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.



Best of luck,

Tech Support

How Condoms Work

I still remember this commercial from when it first hit the airwaves and amazingly it's every bit as funny now as it was then (maybe it's a guy thing!). Click on the screen to play it here or go to YouTube.

Catch This One

More fun Flash coding on this site HERE. Move your cursor over to this guy's nose and try keeping it there.

Grand Theft Auto Coke Commercial

Coke in its neverending quest to stay cool, had ad agency Nexus develop a viral commercial based on Grand Theft Auto. You can view a copy of it on YouTube HERE or just click on the opening screen here.

Having Fun in My Old Age

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. I went to the store the other day. I was only in there for about 5 minutes.

When I came out there was a city cop writing out a parking ticket. I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a senior a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a name. He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him a worse name. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third.

This went on for about 20 minutes. It seems the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Oh well, I didn't care: My car was parked around the corner and this one had a "Hillary in '08" bumper sticker on it.

I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important at our age.

Some Token Cute Pictures

From a Flickr collection actually called Tiny Animals on Fingers: some of the tiniest critters on the planet.

Kids' Candy Gets Grosser

I thought some of the candy my kids had when they were growing up was pretty gross. But I was wrong. Check out Candy Addict for more of their 10 grossest candies.

Plastic Surgery Gone Wild

The name of the site says it all: AwfulPlasticSurgery.com.

New Chinese Robots

A news story on Yahoo! that covers female robots developed at the Chinese Academy of Sciences along with several shots of the life-like automations. They intend to sell these to places like museums and hotels (it might be an improvement in customer service in some places!).

What the Hell are They Selling?

My Japanese is terrible but perhaps this is a commercial for a condiment, mayonnaise perhaps? Foreign commercials are crazy to watch (they probably laugh at ours too). On YouTube here.

Aspartame: Good Sweetener or Evil Chemical?

I keep getting chain e-mails over and over again that emphasize the evils of aspartame sweeteners that are used to replace sugar in just about everything from sodas to pastries. My favorite Urban legends site, Snopes, has some pretty extensive references on its aspartame page. But then you also have DORway, David Reitz's extensive section on the ill effects of aspartame. Then a friend just sent me this page on using aspartame as a very effective antkiller! Go figure! All I know is that I always get severe headaches whenever I drink anything with aspartame in it; when they slip a diet drink to me at a fast-food place, I can always tell it's a diet drink from the frist sip. Me, I personally hate artificial sweeteners and believe that they can't be good for you. But you can decide for yourself after reading some of these links.

A Meat Cake

No, really. I mean it. A step-by-step picture tutorial on how to make a Meat Cake. Link is here to BlackWidowBakery for the recipe.

He's Ba-aaack!

But for a limited time only. JudgeOJ.com will only be up for 30 days so check it out soon. The creators are finishing a documentary that took years of following OJ Simpson around with a camera and complete freedom to tape everything. Watch as OJ trash talks Oprah and gives dating advice to an OJ groupie! You decide -- see what jurors saw! Crazy and scary all at the same time.

How to Crack Most Locks

Apparently this technique has been well-known among locksmiths for years: It's called Bump Keying and it basically allows someone to crack just about any lock in a matter of seconds using simple master keys to "bump" the pins in the lock. Worse still, it appears that the more expensive the lock, the easier it is to pick! There's even an Acrobat PDF document on the process HERE. The YouTube video is approx. 7 minutes complete with English subtitles and well-worth the watch. We may be in for a serious increase burglaries now that Newsweek recently detailed this in a mainstream news article. Wonder how insurance companies are going to treat these walk-in thefts? Yikes!

The Simplest Things Often Say It Best

This is a flipbook animation from Don Hertzfeldt on Google Video about Life as A Guy. Thousands of e-mails on the topic and this simple animation says it all!

Your Surname

How many other people share your surname in America? And where does it stand compared to other surnames? Using the US Census Bureau's Index statistics, this database uses over 50,000 names to rank your surname. From PBS. Of course, Smith is still Number 1.

More Redneck Wedding Pictures

I hate to do this to all of you on Friday but someone just sent me a link to yet another set of redneck wedding pictures. I think this set really takes the cake. These are so good I just HAVE to share them. See the entire collection here.

Al Gore's An Convenient Truth -- er, Spoof

A one-minute re-make of Al Gore's oft-mocked PowerPoint presentation from An Inconvenient Truth. An Inconvenient Spoof as seen on YouTube.



Rumors are flying that the spoof was created by DCI, a PR firm out of DC that represents clients such as Exxon. So who cares? If Steve Colbert and Jon Stewart can freely create satire that gets distributed virally, maybe we can finally get a few chuckles out of Al, too.

Smart-Ass Darth Vader

From YouTube:

How to Steal a Notebook Computer in Broad Daylight

Here's security camera footage of a notebook being stolen during business hours at a store. More and more businesses have been installing cameras as prices continue to drop and the technology gets easier and easier to use. But crooks also seem to be getting dumber and dumber...

Really Old Commercials from the 50's and 60's

Commercials that I actually remember seeing on that old black-and-white Admiral TV screen. Yes, I'm really THAT old! Ah for the old days! This is a collection of vintage ads in public domain and available to download at Internet Archive.

Every Breath You Take

Economics geeks can have fun sometimes too! From the YouTube posting itself: "Columbia Business School's Dean Glenn Hubbard sings about wanting Alan Greenspan's job that went instead to New Fed Chair Ben Bernanke. Parody created by Columbia Business School students." On YouTube HERE.

Why Microsoft Vista Keeps Getting Delayed

If you want a demonstration of why Vista's delivery date keeps getting puched back and features keep getting stripped away, this YouTube video says it all.

Paris Hilton -- Cheap!

Ha ha! We already know Paris Hilton is a cheap date. But accornding to Hollywood smut-rag, TMZ, a local moving company moved some of her things into a storage unit and then proptly forgot about it. Including the monthly storage bill! And we all know what happens when you forget to pay your storage bill (well, maybe Paris doesn't!). So the owners put her stuff up for a blind auction and sold the entire lot for an undisclosed amount to cover the rental fees. Included are some of her personal journals, costume jewelry and other assorted crap. Some of the stuff has already started making it on to eBay.

Penn and Teller's Proposal for the Twin Towers

Illusionists Penn and Teller chime in on their thinking process that led them to the concept they like most for the new Twin Towers in New York. As also posted on YouTube HERE.

Checkout Line Conversations

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my Labrador Retriever and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me tried striking up a conversation and asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I was in the hospital.

I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.

Stuttering Kitten

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she says.

A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered," she volunteered.

The teacher -- knowing how precious some of these stories could become -- asked the girl to describe the incident.

"Well," she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler who lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"

"That must've been scary," said the teacher.

"It sure was," said the little girl. "My kitty went 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'... and before he could say, 'Fuck,' the Rottweiler ate him!"

Some Great Old Sayings

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, "Lillian, you should have remained a virgin."
-- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)


I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall."
-- Eleanor Roosevelt


Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
-- Mark Twain


The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
-- George Burns


Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
-- Victor Borge


Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
-- Mark Twain


By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
-- Socrates


I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
-- Groucho Marx


My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
-- Jimmy Durante


I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor


Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
-- Alex Levine


My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
-- Rodney Dangerfield


Money can't buy you happiness . But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
-- Spike Milligan


I am opposed to millionaires... but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
-- Mark Twain


Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP.
-- Joe Namath


I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
-- Bob Hope

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
-- W.C. Fields

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
-- Will Rogers


Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
-- Winston Churchill


Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty ... but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
-- Phyllis Diller


By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
-- Billy Crystal

Why I Still Love the Internet (er Web 2.0...)

A couple of weeks ago, the side mirror on my black Windstar van got demolished. Those suckers can run as high as $350 by the time you add up the price of the part from a Ford dealer and the cost to install it. But that night, I went on eBay and did a search for 2001 Windstar Mirror and voilá! A brand new motorized passenger side mirror for that make and model and year! Big bonus: It's black! All for $34.95 plus shipping. (I have no idea how this guy makes money other than on the shipping and handling fees but more power to him!)
















The mirror arrived a few days later in a well-packed box. But a typical garage would still charge me for at least an hour of labor to install this baby. So back online again to do a Google search: "install 2001 windstar mirror." Here's what came up:
























Once I found the correct instructions, it was simply a matter of having just a couple of hex wrenches that fit the bolts holding in the door panel (3 of them) and then removing the inner panel and uncoupling the old mirror (3 more bolts and a clip).. Once I made sure that the mirror actually worked, I re-installed the inside door panel like I knew what I was doing. Time elapsed: 25 minutes! All without having to leave home. And THAT is why I still love the Internet.

What's your favorite recent story of how the Internet affects your daily life?

Internet Explorer 7 but...

The new Microsoft IE7 is coming but YIKES! It looks like IE7.com has been taken by Firefox!

Geeks Gone Wild: Part 31

No end in sight as to what means geeks -- er, engineers -- will go to make something "better." Check out the other pictures on his blog here.

Heat Wave and Thongs

Whew! A lot of us have been enduring a big heat wave in many parts of the country. What goes great with a heat wave? Thongs! A light-hearted Flash animation.

Microsoft Feature Creep

In their typical fashion, Microsoft always tends to allow the engineers to run wild, even when it comes to product design and branding. But to their credit, they recently poked fun at themselves with a short clip that shows how they would re-package and promote the iPod. It'll be interesting to see how their real effort at creating an "iPod Killer" turns out later this year! As posted on YouTube here.

For the Environmentalist Who has Everything

"Stop wasting water!" "Don't forget to wash your hands!" You've heard your Mom tell you that a thousand times. So the folks over at enviro consumer products company, Gaiam, are now offering a toilet with a built-in sink so you can wash your hands while you're still at the toilet. Don't worry: They say it's clean water from inside the tank and not from the bowl...

"And don't forget to flush!"

Cheap-Ass Digital Camera

I've often wanted a VERY cheap digital camera to carry around for those spur-of-the-moment shots that come up. A no-features, no-frills, point-and-shoot camera probaly with low-resolution for web-postable shots. Well, this week, WalGreens Pharmacies has the Innovage Mini Digital Camera on sale for $10! This thing's tiny and can attach to your keychain (geeks only!). Again, admittedly it's not a Sony or a Nikon but in an emergency, it'll do. And for 10 bucks, what the heck! Comes complete with software CD, AAA battery and USB cable for connecting to your PC.

History of Illegal Immigration for Dummies

Just kidding. But this animation, Glenn Beck's History of Illegal Immigration, on YouTube, is a surprisingly well-done but light-hearted overview of illegal immigration in America.

Hot or Not... Iowa Style

Ha ha -- Dave Burge hosts a Hot-or-Not style vote on the top women's mugshot from Iowa rap sheets. Check out the choices on his blog here. Contest closed on July 7th and Jesika -- pictured her with a SMILE! -- was the winner.

Moving Back to Toronto for a While

Re-Play That World Cup Head Butt

The latest online video game: French Soccer "Star" Zidane's infamous head butt over and over and over and... I hope this gets immortalized as the single-most remembered play of his entire career. French Asshole! They call it felony assault in real life and they generally tend to put people like this in jail for doing it.

More 7 Eleven

Carlos Mencia from his Mind of Mencia Show doing a different take on those poor Indian clerks who put up with crap from customers all day, every day. White trash, black trash and just about everyone else who shops at 7 Eleven. Joe Biden, this one's for you! On YouTube.

Understanding Engineers in Eight Easy Lessons

Understanding Engineers - Take One

Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."

Understanding Engineers - Take Two

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Understanding Engineers - Take Three

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer asked the greens keeper "What's wrong with that group ahead
of us?"

The greens keeper replied "That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group fell silent for a moment. Then the priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

Understanding Engineers - Take Four

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.

Understanding Engineers - Take Five

The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"

The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Understanding Engineers - Take Six

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.

"Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."

The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

Understanding Engineers - Take Seven

Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

Understanding Engineers - Take Eight

An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and put it back. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."

Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? Why won't you kiss me?"

The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend. But a talking frog, now that's cool."

Every Store Needs One of These Signs

FREE Slurpees® at 7 Eleven on 7-11!

It's 7 Eleven's 79th Birthday on July 11th so they're giving away FREE Slurpees® all day long. Stop in for a cool one.

Time to Toss Some Paint

Some nice Flash codework and web page design that should bring out the artist in just about anyone!

Find your inner Jackson Pollock at JacksonPollock.org and create your very own 20th Century masterpiece.

Bush on Global Warming as Done by Will Ferrell

From a past episode on Saturday Night Live. Proving once again that most of the latest from SNL is crap except for the stuff from the old-timers.

Etch-A-Sketch Art

Here's another guy who's either insanely brilliant or he has way too much time on his hands. I've done some slightly detailed drawings as a kid on an Etch-A-Sketch but George Vlosich III takes the cake hands down for the most incredibly drawn artwork I've ever seen on one of those things! Some of the drawings take as much as 50 hours to complete. Check out the site here.

George W. Does U2

U2's Sunday Bloody Sunday as re-mixed by ThePartyParty.com and posted on YouTube.

Talking Pug... on Montel!

If you like animal videos, you'll enjoy this one from a past episode of Montel. (Windows Media wmv file -- approx. 4.8 Mb).

How Unions Work

A dedicated teamsters union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels. When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a union house?"

"No," she replied, "I'm sorry it isn't."

"Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"

"The house gets $80 and the girls get $20," she answered.

Offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop. His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madam responded, "Why yes, sir, this is a union house. We observe all union rules."

The man asked, "And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"

"The girls get $80 and the house gets $20," answered the Madam.

"That's more like it!" the union man said.

He handed the Madam $100, looked around the room, and pointed to a stunningly attractive Brunette .

"I'd like her," he said.

"I'm sure you would, sir," said the Madam. Then she gestured to a 93-year old woman in the corner with her walker, "but Ethel here has 67 years seniority and according to union rules, she's next."

NOT eBay!

Ever wonder what happens to all those pieces of unclaimed luggage from the airlines? There really is an Unclaimed Baggage warehouse and store located in Scottsboro, Alabama. Yes, a store! And they even have a play area for your kids and a store that serves Starbucks coffee! The company was started in 1970 to handle the growing problem of what to do with unclaimed luggage and the expanded center was built in 1995. It's now become a shopping destination.

Read through some of their pages and you'll realize the kinds of unclaimed property people manage to forget about for one reason or another: emerald rings, designer clothing, souvenirs from every corner of the globe, along with some very unusual one-of-a-kind items. They posted a sample receipt of one visitor's purchases:

Maury Povich is a Dick

If you've ever even doubted for a minute about whether Maury Povich is a low-life white trash host (á la Jerry Springer et al), check out his pickle episode. Supposedly, this girl has a strange phobia about pickles of all things and she breaks into hysteria when Povich finally has his crew bring out plates of huge dill pickles. If it wasn't so ridiculously mean, it would be funny!

Commercial of the Year from Guinness

This past December, Guinness won the equivalent of an Oscar in the Ad World's AEAF Awards for the Year's Best Commercial. This is their Noitulove commercial (Evolution spelled backwards as you will soon see). An incredible journey through time in reverse. This is what a great commercial looks like!

Cool Animated Disaster Simulation

Only from Japan: an animated short depicting the what-if scenario of a gigantic meteor hitting the earth at full impact. It's all narrated in Japanese and I think there's a shorter literal translation (in other words: not-too-good) on the YouTube page that accompanies this video. This is truly an awesome video to be watched a couple of times.

Like I Keep Saying: DON'T BUY A DELL, DUDE!

Many years ago, I ended up on a road trip to do a demo using a Dell notebook to run the software. Following our company policy of testing everything out before your meeting, I set everything up the night before only to find that my Dell notebook was DOA. I immediately got on the phone with Dell and requested a replacement based on their 24/7 replacement policy that was purchased with that model. Of course, the support technician argued that it would take a couple of days to process and ship a unit to me and even tried to insist that they ship it back to my home office where I didn't need it. I wanted that sucker waiting for me at my hotel in another city by the next morning. After wasting well over a half hour arguing with the Dell idiot about the semantics of the Dell Service Warranty, I requested that he make a notation in my file using caps: "I WILL NEVER BUY A DELL COMPUTER AGAIN AND I WILL TAKE EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO TELL MY FRIENDS TO NEVER BUY DELL. EVER! PERIOD!"

If you've ever wondered how and why Dell manages to be the low-cost producer of PC's and notebooks, you have to look at how they order and assemble your "custom-made Dell computer." Dell employs teams of buyers who shop daily for the best prices in all the various parts and chips they need. Often, they'll purchase huge lots at even more aggrssive prices (like memory). If they happen to find a video card from some cheap manufacturer in Taiwan this week, tha't ll probably end up in your computer. And don't forget: they collect the money from their customers in advance so they're sitting on your dough well before they ship as well as getting the best terms from their vendors. Now their model may have changed somewhat in recent years but this is what I found a few years back.

I promptly went out and bought a new Sony VAIO notebook for myself and all of my businesses have stuck with Sony notebooks ever since. They cost a little more but they've never given me any major problems. Any time, anywhere. (And some of the extra features are a bonus.)

Imagine my surprise (sarcasm here) when I ran across this little article on The Inquirer about another Dell notebook exploding and bursting into flames at a Japanese conference. Recently, Dell was flamed for making their Tech Support phone numbers unavailable on their support pages for the longest time.


FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS BUY DELL!

Driving in India

You think traffic is bad in your city? Ha! Try driving overeas in India or China. A friend of mine sent me this YouTube video of traffic at just one intersection somethere in India. Absolutely NO traffic lights or traffic cops, that's for sure (they're too busy handling outsource work for us over here!).

I still remember one of my trips to China a few years back. We were being driven into the mainland to visit my Grandparents' house back in the old village. As we went through one small city along the way, I actually saw this maintenance guy precariously balanced up on the very top of a 10-foot ladder, calmly changing a traffic signal light as hundreds of cars streamed around him trying to dodge his ladder without slowing down. I kept watching him out the back window of our minibus as long as I could and he actually managed to stay untouched. Just when you think traffic's really bad here...

The Last Word on Aliens (?)

And for all the UFO afficianados out there, there's an Aliens the Truth site for all the latest scoop on our silent invaders.

Firefox and Retarded Browsers Commercial

I've been using Mozilla and then graduated to Firefox the day it came out. And I evangelize it to everyone I can. IE sucks. The new Firefox and Retarded Browsers commercial says it all...

Japanese Noodle Machine Gone Wild

You all know that I love gadgets and gizmos. Here's a Rube Goldberg-type noodle machine from some Japanese gadget lovers as pisted on YouTube.

Twisted Father's Day Cards

Just in time for all you slackers out there... from OfficePirates.

Oh Man! Father's Day This Sunday...

Well, another Father's Day is coming up this Sunday. And the usual Father's Day crap is on sale everywhere once again. Bad neckties, ugly shirts, useless gadgetsl -- you've seen it all too! (Thankfully, my kids never gave me bad stuff over the years.) T-Shirt Humor has created some special Father's Day t-shirts; some of their other shirts are among the funniest I've seen in years.

Ballsy Music

In the finest Rube Goldberg tradition, Pipe Dreams presents this incredible animation from their first Animusic DVD on Google Videos. Simply enlightening!

A YouTube Video for the Geeks

Especially the science geeks! Mix up some corn starch and water, toss in a lab mixer and you can see holes sitting in liquid in this YouTube video (another cool upload). Some potential applications?

New Road Signs

You've seen all those retouched road signs that keep recycling themselves in your e-mail Inbox. The folks at b3ta sponsored a new challenge for road signs and they've posted up some refreshingly original ones.

Fresh 3-Year Old Bread

A small Japanese company that employs disabled workers has figured out how to bake bread that stays fresh for up to 3 years (news story here). The bread -- called Pan Desuyo! (This is Bread! in English) -- is baked in three flavors: chocolate chip, coffee cake and raisin. It's made with absolutely no preservatives and additives. Each loaf is canned immediately after it comes out of the oven, using a secret process that allows the loaves to stay fresh and moist for up to 3 years. Check out the Japanese website here. Check out the link in the lower right side -- yep, you guessed it! -- a special braille button for the visually imparied (?!!).

Help Richard Green Get His Threesome!

So this guy in the UK wanted to have a threesome with his girlfriend. And she said, "Yes, but..." The "But..." says that he has to get 5 million hits on his new website. (Here's a copy of their contract letter.) So guys, we need to do our duty and help a poor guy out. I know, I know. It's really immature but hey -- we're guys! Visit his site at Please Make This Work! (I like his domain name too.)

What the hell -- the Internet can't be serious ALL the time. It's one of those I-wish-I'd-Thought-of-That ideas (for guys anyway!).

Grandfather's Laundry

I was just writing to a friend about the Chinese Exclusion Act in Canada during the late 1800's to early 1900's. I sent her a copy of Price List from my Grandfather's hand laundry which he owned with several partners back in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Despite the incredible Head Tax that was levied against Chinese workers at that time -- as much as $500 a person -- they still managed to come in large numbers to seek their fortunes in North America. $500 represented two years wages at that time so it was no small feat to save up that much money to pay for the opportunity to come to Gim Sun (Chinese for The Gold Mountain; the Gold Rush was so legendary in China it was rumored that even the streets were lined with gold.)

There is a growing dissent among the Chinese descendants of immigrant Chinese in Canada that the government should pay compensation for their very racist policies of the time. I for one had been very much against such types of payments as I believe that the past is gone and we should simply move on. However, my brother made a good point: The Canadian Government not only made it difficult for Chinese men to immigrate but also managed to exclude women and children and families from coming with them. Our Mother would likely have come over earlier and my brothers and I would have been born earlier, allowing us more time to spend with them as they got old. As it is, my own children barely remember Grandpa and Grandma at all as they passed away in the early 90's. While all of that is water under the bridge, the fact of the matter is that the Government took in something like $25 million in Head Tax, most of which was pure profit and levied only against Chinese immigrants. In today's dollars, that translates into something like $1.3 billion (without interest!)! Maybe a simple refund of the Head Tax to the direct descendants in today's dollars would be in order? The Canadian Government has so far refused to address this issue.

Anyway, I digress... Check out this price list for the Sam Wah Laundry, note that the prices are in cents NOT dollars. Men's Shirts were 15¢ and Dresses ranged from 15 - 35¢ apiece. What was more remarkable was that Granddad and his partners all still managed to save enough money to retire back to China as wealthy men. Granddad actually owned a huge mansion back in the family village along with the local general store and stable as well as another house in a town nearby. All this despite the fact that they stacked the odds against him when he arrived in Canada. Unfortunately, when the Communists took over, Granddad and his family had everything confiscated and they were literally tossed out into the street with nothing more than the clothes on their backs.

Fear of Flying

If I ever had fantasies of flying, this video on YouTube pretty much kills it for me. Superman I ain't!

This French skydiver wears a special suit (kind of like a flying squirrel) and a helmet cam so you can see what he sees. What a ride!

Tattoo Remova.. from SNL

A great spoof commercial from Saturday Night Live. They've been steadily going downhill over the years but once in a while, they come up with a decent one.

Fruity Appliances

Just what everyone wants and needs! Large format magnetic graphics that you can trim and cover all your appliances with. Orange fridges, lemon washing machines, coffee bean dishwashers!!! Check it out (around $100 -- $200 apiece).