Make up your own Disneyland sign announcement HERE.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
What's Your Real Age?
No, not your chronological age - your REAL age! Girlfriend or wife call you infantile? Now know for sure. Take the quiz HERE.UPDATE: Since so many of you have sent me your results, I've changed the screenshot to show my final results.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Trip To Wal-Mart -- by Age
You're in the middle of a project around the house... mowing the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room, whatever. You are hot and sweaty. Covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit: shorts with a hole in the crotch, old t-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes. Right in the middle of this great home improvement project, you realize you need to run to Wal-Mart to get something to complete the job. Depending on your age, you might do the following: In your 20's:
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow-dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. You went to school with the pretty girl running the register.
In your 30's:
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick, so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.
In your 40's:
Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Wal-Mart. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.
In your 50's:
Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dirt in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from your buddy's bait shop and it says, "I Got Worms."
In your 60's:
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog crap off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure.
In your 70's:
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Wal-Mart until they have your prescriptions ready too. Don't even notice the dog crap on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.
In your 80's:
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember that you needed to go to Wal-Mart. Go to Wal-Mart and wonder around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. The old lady that greeted you at the front door went to school with you.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
ROTFLMAO!
Don't bother watching this video if you have no appreciation for childish, side-splitting humor. Really.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Friday, November 16, 2007
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Turkey Trivia
How much do you really know about that bird you're likely going to cook on Thanksgiving Day? Take the 20-question Turkey Trivia Test.P.S. - I flunked!
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Best Panhandler Sign
Like most major cities, Seattle has its share of panhandlers. Occasionally, you'll run across one who's totally original and definitely merits some money just for creativity. This recent post on Flickr is now tops on my list for originality - this guy would have gotten five bucks from me!
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Cool Earth Clock
Click on each of the different views to see a year-to-date, month-to-date, etc. Link is HERE.
Saturday, November 03, 2007
Best Damn Etch-A-Sketch Artist!
If this guy isn't the best damn Etch-A-Sketch artist I've ever seen... Check out etch-a-sketchartist.com.
Friday, November 02, 2007
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Candidate Truth-O-Meter
The St. Petersburg Times, in collaboration with The Congressional Quaterly, has created a new site - PolitiFact - that helps to sort out the bull from the shit during all of this election noise. I especially enjoy their Truth-O-Meter (HERE) which rates some of the latest pronouncements from our candidates (My favorite rating? Pants on fire!)
Monday, October 29, 2007
ZIP Code Mashup
It never ceases to amaze me when they can make so much data available online from what's already out there! Check out ZipSkinny.com.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Best Dear Prudence Post
It's fun reading some of the questions and answers on SLATE's Dear Prudence column. This recent one has already been making the rounds in e-mails and posts so I decided to confirm that it was indeed a real post (it is!). Full post is HERE.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Bored at Work on Tuesday Afternoon?
Really bored? Really, REALLY bored? Virtual Bubble Wrap popping HERE.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
How to Cope with Death
A re-post, this time to a longer version that appears to be posted by the animator himself, Ignacio Ferraras.
Monday, October 08, 2007
The Hardest Workers in the World?
I just finished reading an article titled The Hardest Workers in the World in which the argument is made that Americans collectively generate more per-capita than any people in the world. Coincidentally, I got an oldie-but-goodie in my Inbox that made me want to put these two tidbits together:
SO JUST WHO IS DOING THE WORK?
The population of the USA is 300 million.
160 million are retired.
That leaves 140 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school.
Which leaves 55 million to do the work.
Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.
Leaving 15 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama Bin-Laden.
Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city governments.
And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188, 000 people in hospitals.
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.
You. And me.
And there you are, sitting on your ass, at your computer, reading jokes.
Nice. Real nice...
SO JUST WHO IS DOING THE WORK?
The population of the USA is 300 million.
160 million are retired.
That leaves 140 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school.
Which leaves 55 million to do the work.
Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.
Leaving 15 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama Bin-Laden.
Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city governments.
And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188, 000 people in hospitals.
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.
You. And me.
And there you are, sitting on your ass, at your computer, reading jokes.
Nice. Real nice...
Saturday, October 06, 2007
Where Do Shooting Stars Come From?
From a talk on the challenges of going to the toilet in space as explained by Colonel Chris Hadfield of the Canadian Space Agency at the Ontario Science Centre in Toronto.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
Friday, September 21, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Want to Talk to a Human?
GetHuman has a huge collection of fastest ways to navigate out of Voicemail Hell and get a human on the other end fast.
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Saturday, September 08, 2007
Friday, September 07, 2007
Trashiest TV Clip I've Seen
OK I admit it. I'm a guy and I sometimes check out some strange shows on G4 from time to time when I'm bored. I especially enjoy catching up on old episodes of The Man Show (the ones with Jimmy Kimmel and Adam Carolla). But today, I was watching a particularly nasty episode of a REALLY trashy show called Cheaters that featured an S&M episode. Weird. Dateline meets Jerry Springer! Ha Ha! Freakin' hilarious! They really showed this on television!
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
MC Escher Meets Wacked Out Photographer!
Photographer Josh Sommers (aka Pisco Bandito) combines his digital photography with MC Escher effects to create infinite images that Escher the artist has made a trademark. Sommers has even posted a tutorial on how he creates his novel images. (Everything posted on Flickr.)
Friday, August 31, 2007
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Where All Those Nasty e-Mail Tattoo Pictures Come From...
Here's a site with a huge collection of some of the nastiest tattoos you're likely to see. So now we know where they find a lot of them when you get another one of those e-mails with another stupid tattoo picture attached. You'll notice that the majority of these are permanently emblazoned on young guys, probably while in an alternate state.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Old Fashioned Ads for New Stuff
I love checking out the Worth1000 Photoshop contests. Today, they're featuring new products promoted with old-fashioned ads. Check more out on the Worth1000 site HERE.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
25 Reasons I Owe My Mother
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTION.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all the spinach and olives are gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTION.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all the spinach and olives are gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Sunday, August 12, 2007
The REAL Cat Lady!
If this was in the States, the ASPCA and PETA would be all over this lady's ass! But apparently these cats are all well cared for and fed enough that the authorities - and her neighbors - aren't complaining! 130 cats!!! Here's the clip from Russian news:
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Don't Bother Watching Sicko
Quite frankly, the idea of having a fat slob tell me what's wrong with our health care system just rubs me the wrong way. If you want to see an enlightening, 5-minute video that condenses everything Sicko claims to expose, this one's for you.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Pig into Space
Check out this old series of shots from the former Soviet Union. One of the early rocket tests during the 60's race to space. Step One: Get Mr. Piggy nice and drunk!
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Some Fun Kid Vids Tonight
First one is What are You Gonna Do to the Monster? and the second one is Babies Eating Lemons - great little faces!
Monday, July 23, 2007
Generic Cereal Mascots
So Kellog's Frosted Flakes has Tony the Tiger and General Mills has Cap'n Crunch. What about all those bagged generic cereals they sell at your grocery store?
Friday, July 20, 2007
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
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Elephant Stew
Cut one elephant into small bite-sized pieces (this takes about two months). Add enough gravy to cover. Cook over kerosene fire for four weeks at 465 deg. F. This will serve about 3,800. If more are expected, then two rabbits may be added, but do this only if absolutely necessary because most people don't like hare in their stew.Monday, July 16, 2007
Serious Weight Loss
This guy has got to be one of the most dramatic weight loss stories I've ever seen. The entire set of photos is HERE and they document his entire transformation into the new dude he is today! After his remarkable weight loss, he had to undergo operations to get rid of all that excess skin. Whew! (BTW 1 kg = 2.2 lbs so he lost over 350 lbs!)
Monday, July 09, 2007
Saturday, July 07, 2007
The Paycheck
Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little 5-year-old girl and some construction workers that makes you believe that we CAN make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time...
A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a check for a couple of dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the two dollar "paycheck" she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with the crew building the house next door to us."
"My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"
The little girl replied, "I will if those assholes at Home Depot ever deliver the damn sheet rock..."
A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a check for a couple of dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the two dollar "paycheck" she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with the crew building the house next door to us."
"My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"
The little girl replied, "I will if those assholes at Home Depot ever deliver the damn sheet rock..."
Friday, July 06, 2007
Time Travel for Amateurs
From AtomFilms: "How much would you pay to hire a couple of goons to travel back in time and be your playground enforcers?"
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Sunday, July 01, 2007
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