Commercial of the Week from IKEA: Always Pick Up Your Toys

IKEA's ads are generally light, fun and well-filmed. This one's just a little funnier than most... (MPEG file approx. 2.2 Mb)

Senior Dress Codes

This one's been around the block a few times but it still holds true...

Many of us "Old Folks" (those over 50, WAY over 50, or hovering near 50) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. We are unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to Conform to current fashions. Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together And should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedo's and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Short shorts and varicose veins
12. Inline skates and a walker

And last, but not least...

13. Thongs and Depends

The Best Toaster

SLATE ran a fun article today by Tom Bartlett entitled Toast of the Town. I sure didn't know that the key component in a toaster, Nichrome (which is what the heating elements are made from), was invented over 100 years ago by chemist Albert Leroy Marsh.

Anyway, Bartlett takes on the daunting task of picking the best toaster on the market today from a field of 8 top contenders. Nice review.


And if you want to learn even more about toasters, check out Toaster.org.

How to Build an Airbus A380

Business Week just ran an article on how they build the world's largest commercial airplane, the AirBus A380. But there's also an even better video on GoogleVideos How to Build and Airbus A380 in 7 minutes. Wish Boeing could put out some cool PR stuff like this...

Why We Need to Make Sure Our Kids Get Sex Ed...

Italians vs. Other Europeans

Cute flash animation -- takes a bit of time to load.

Still Think You Need That New SUV?

If you think your current vehicle is overworked and overloaded, check out this collection of overloaded modes of transportation!

THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS ALL ABOUT!

My Note: Corny but touching and I felt worth passing along as well.

It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 a. m., when an elderly gentleman in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation. I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I then inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?" He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life." True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be. With all the jokes and fun that are in e-mails, sometimes there are some that come along that have an important message, and this is one of those kind. Just had to share it with you all.

The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.

Please share this with someone you care about.

Chris Bliss Diss

Remember that video of Chris Bliss juggling to the Beatles' tune that made it all over the web a week or so ago? (In case you didn't, click here.) Well, another dude named Jason released a new video on GoogleVideo that does Chris Bliss one (actually two!) better. This guy juggles FIVE balls to the strains of Carry That Weight... and he does it even more effortlessly! Check it out here.

This Just in from Last Friday's St. Patrick Day Celebration

Crowds Panic as Flood Threatens Ireland...

Smart Chinese Goldfish

The more stuff becomes available online, the zanier some of it gets. Just think: we'll be able to get clips of useless programs like this from China. But then again, I do like fish. Especially smart fish. (Windows Media wmv file approx. 740K)

Best Selling Albums of All Time (according to WIKI)

No one can say with any certainty how many copies of an album sold globally since there are no international bodies keeping an honest count. However, WIKI has a best-guesstimate list of the top-selling albums worldwide. Interestingly, Michael Jackson's Thriller tops the list as the all-time selling album with something like 50 million copies sold. The Beatles have sold more albums collectively than anyone else. Great list.

I Would Have Sh*t My Pants!

Holy crap! Take a look at this picture of what's left of an Audi TT after it got crushed on the freeway on Long Island by a tractor trailer and a bus. The driver of the truck was cited for carrying a load that was something like 16,000 lbs. overweight on bald tires. The video on the news clip was shot out the front window of a tour bus that was following the car when the truck came across the highway out of control. And the driver of the car? He survived with relatively minimal injuries -- and in one piece! Check out the video here (Windows Media WMV file).

100 MOST OFTEN MISSPELLED WORDS IN ENGLISH

The list of the 100 most misspelled words in English.

The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly

Good : Your wife is pregnant.
Bad : It's triplets.
Ugly : You had a vasectomy five years ago.

Good : Your wife's not talking to you.
Bad : She wants a divorce.
Ugly : She's a lawyer.

Good : Your son is finally maturing.
Bad : He's involved with the woman next door.
Ugly : So are you.

Good : Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad : You find several porn movies hidden there.
Ugly : You're in them.

Good : Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
Bad : You can't find your birth control pills.
Ugly : Your daughter borrowed them.

Good : Your husband understands fashion.
Bad : He's a cross-dresser.
Ugly : He looks better than you.

Good : You give the "birds and bees" talk to your daughter.
Bad : She keeps interrupting.
Ugly : With corrections.

Good : Your son is dating someone new.
Bad : It's another man.
Ugly : He's your best friend.

Good : Your daughter got a new job.
Bad : As a hooker.
Ugly : Your co-workers are her best clients.
Way ugly : She makes more money than you do.

360-degree View of Paris

As much as a lot of us may dislike the French these days, I still LOVE Paris! Here's a 360-degree view of Paris at night. If you look closely, you'll see the Eiffel Tower, the Seine, Notre Dame Cathedral and Montmartre. Beautiful. (Use the scroll bar at the bottom of your browser screen to scan the horizon.)

Check Out a Live Volcano!

The folks up in Alaska have sure found a neat way to bring in a lot of traffic to a website. Their Alaska Volcano Observatory (AVO) has had over 250 million hits (yes, that's 250 MILLION!) since the beginning of the year when they first started posting a live web cam link to the Augustine volcano on the south shores a few hundred miles down from Anchorage.


And while we're at it, here's a link to a webcam of Mount St. Helens in Washington.

Blue Water from Your Faucet!

Some geeks have too much time on their hands and too much money to spend prototyping some crazy-ass ideas! Want blue water to really come out of your faucet? Just get one of these blue LED attachments from ThinkGeek for a mere $14.99! And check out some of their other goodies while you're at it...

Having Fun Reading

When my kids and I first arrived in Seattle nearly 9 years ago (!), we were happy to find out that it had one of the most voracious appetites for book reading in the county. I don't know if you'd attribute it to the rainy weather or the dark days while riding the Metro buses to get around but you sure see a lot of people with their noses in books all the time. Hmm -- maybe that's why Amazon started up in Seattle...

In any event, Michelle and Brian Watters from Pickering, Ontario (Canada, eh?) decided to have some fun with book covers. Actually, the dust jackets that wrap around them. Most people just can't help looking at the cover of the books that other people are reading across the aisle from them on the bus. So what if you had a book that was titled, "How to Murder a Complete Stranger and Get Away with It."? Or how about other delightful conversation-starters like, "Do-it-Yourself Dentistry" or "How to Make your Grandmother a Porn Star." Or maybe the ever-popular "Perfecting the Art of Fart Projection"? Oh -- and my personal favorite, "The Nutritional Benefits of Nose Picking." You can view and purchase these great dust jackets on their site, FlapArt. Order a couple today and impress your friends!

Commercial of the Week from Toyota

This one's a new commercial for the RAV4 called Happy Together (remember the old Turtles hit from the 60's?). (Windows Media WMV file approx. 2.85 Mb)

Like Google Earth? You'll LOVE Google Mars!

If any of you have spent much time exploring Google Earth, you've probably marvelled at a lot of the things people have done with some of the satellite images of Earth using Google's simple interface. Well, since the new Mars Rover landed, Google has been gathering as many images of Mars as they can find and posted GoogleMars online today.



















While you're at it, you might also want to take a look at their earlier endeavor, Google Moon.



















And here's a link directly to NASA's Rover Mission site.

Like Shaking a Bottle of Ketchup

From a new Swedish movie, The Ketchup Effect, coming out in March. Here's a clip (with English subtitles) on the state of teenage romance: "Imagine you're holding a bottle of ketchup..." Cute...

Downloading Video Streams from the Internet

Have you ever wanted to download a video directly from iFilm, GoogleVideo or YouTube or any of those other streaming video sites? KeepVid allows you to paste the link for that video into their download bar so you can then right-click it for direct download. Don't know how long this site's going to be staying up but get 'em while you can...

The Kid from Brooklyn Rants about Starbucks

Check out this character going on and on about Starbucks (I don't blame him!). (Windows Media WMV file approx. 4.1 Mb) And here's even more from the obnoxious Kid from Brooklyn.

Enough About Bananas Already!

Over the past couple of years, useful information about bananas keeps recirculating in e-mails. So I thought I'd just post what I've gotten from everywhere on my blog one more time for all to read and forward. It's pretty much researched and confirmed with multiple sources.

The Power Behind Bananas

Doctors Home Remedy
If you want a quick fix for flagging energy levels, there is no better snack than a banana.

Containing three natural sugars-sucrose, fructose and glucose-combined with fiber a banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy. Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes. But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions making it a must to add to your daily diet.

Depression
According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain trypotophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.

PMS
Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.

Anemia
High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.

Blood Pressure
This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt making it the perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit! It's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.

Brain Power
200 students were helped through exams by eating bananas at breakfast, break and lunch in a bid to boost their brainpower. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.

Constipation
High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.

Hangovers
One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.

Heartburn
Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.

Morning Sickness
Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.

Mosquito bites
Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.

Nerves
Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system. Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and chips. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.

Ulcers
The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. The only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronic ulcer cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer, trypotophan.

Smoking
Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.

Stress
Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water-balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, there by reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.

Strokes
According to research in The New England Journal of Medicine eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40 percent!

Warts
Those keen on natural alternatives swear that, if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!

So you see, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around.

Redneck Women

What more is there to say? The title says it all! (Windows Media WMV file approx. 3.5 Mb)

Another Bud Light Commercial

While I wouldn't qualify this one as a Commercial of the Week, I'd still have to say that most of the Bud Light ads have been pretty original and funny. This one's called Roof Work. (Windows Media WMV file approx. 1.43 Mb)

Dumpster Diving Identity Theft

Are you paranoid enough to shred all of your credit card applications and other junk mail before tossing it all out? Well, this guy went and tore his app up into tiny pieces, taped it all back together, filled it out using a DIFFERENT address and used his cell number. In four weeks, the credit card company sent him a shiny new card with a $5000 credit limit on it! Unbelievable! And scary...

Want a Unique Goodie?

How about a white chocolate skull made from a cast of a real skull? Yummm...

For the Chef with Everything...

Instead of just using plain old string to tie your food up for cooking in the microwave (kinky!), try using the new plastic Food Loop.

One for PETA

I don't know where this one originated but I love it! It should even make the staunchest PETA member really happy: The Newfie fur coat. (Windows Media WMV file approx. 460K) (In case you didn't know, Newfies are Canada's beloved version of rednecks.)

The Rosetta Project

Wouldn't it be remarkable if someone used the power and reach of the Internet (OK, OK, Web 2.0 -- ha ha) to track and archive all the spoken languages of the world, past and present? One of those things that the Internet is supposed to be good for, right? Stanford University Libraries, The Long Now Foundation, The National Science Foundation and The National Science Digital Library have co-sponsored the Rosetta Project, an ambitious take on archiving the languages on Planet Earth. Check it out at The Rosetta Project. And you might even consider joining as a contributor. They're looking for researchers, linguists, researchers, donors etc.

Scientific Evidence on Beer

Last month, National University of Lesotho scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.

The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:

1) argued over nothing.
2) refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional.
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally
8) Had to sit down while urinating.

No further testing was considered necessary. Men -- Be forewarned!

From My "I-Want-One List"

Cool kitchen gadget that every kitchen should have!

Geek Fight Club

From out of the Valley comes the Geek Gentlemen's Fight Club. Where else would you see stuff like rolled-up magazine fighting and plastic knife duels? Click on the small video icons beside each weapon-of-choice to see clips of actual fights. Not for the waek-hearted; these guys take it seriously! But what would Ah-nold have to say about these girly-men?

What's Your Dog's Sign?

And while you're at it, take a look at Fido's horoscope. I see a big bone in your future...

Old and Unusual Roadside Attractions

I'm old enough to remember a lot of those cool buildings that dotted the roadways long before the superhighways crisscrossed the country. As a matter of fact, Seattle still has a couple of its own although most of them have now been torn down or moved away. Here's a site with someone's collection of old pitstops. I especially like the Beagle B&B and the Chest of Drawers (with the socks hanging out of one of them!).

Danes Finally Apologize for Muslim Cartoons

The official Danish Mohammed Cartoon apology site just went up here. Well said!

A Dirty Parrot Joke

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Geez, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"

The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."

"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"

"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird."

"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"

"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."

"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English can't you?"

"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."

The guy looks at the $20,000 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."

"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20; just make the guy an offer!"

The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.

Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, "Psssssssssssst," and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."

"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.

"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie."

"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"

"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.

"NO!" he exclaims. "And she let him?"

"Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over...."

Then the frantic guy demands, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"

"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"

Your Longitude and Latitude

It's kind of scary at times to see the information available at your fingertips online. Type in any US address and you can find its longitude and latitude.

Billboard of the Week

An ad agency in New Zealand designed this billboard for underwear maker, Bustop, with a gigantic skirt that actually blows up in the wind to reveal... their underwear!

Dogs vs. Cats

As seen in a dog's diary:

7am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6pm - Oh boy! Mom! My favorite!
7pm - Oh boy! Dad! My favorite!
8pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
11pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in a people bed! My favorite!

As seen in a cat's diary:

Day 1283 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre, little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow? I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I am.

Hmmm?. Not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing "allergies". Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.

But I can wait -- it's only a matter of time..

Why We Didn't Want to Take Grandpa to Mardi Gras

Cork Soakers

In recent years, Saturday Night Live has just plain... well -- SUCKED! Many of the original crews have left for Hollywood and the current cast and writers just don't seem to carry a good laugh any more. But once in a rare while, they come up with a real gem. Like this one with one of the Jackson sisters (is that Janet in her frat sweater?). (Windows Media WMV file approx. 6.12 Mb)

D-oh! They're REAL!

Whoa! There's just way too much stuff going on at YouTube today! This has got to be my favorite clip of the week. Someone actually went to the trouble of re-creating the entire 1-minute opening sequence of the Simpsons using real live actors and it's so-oo good! Check out Homer's crack as he races ahead of Marge's car into the garage; just like the cartoon!

Disneyland Main Street USA - 1956

Ah, how I remember the first time I saw footage of Walt Disney World in Anaheim California on television (it was in black-and-white as I recall!). Those memories stuck with me as I grew up and it was magical when a girlfriend and I got to visit DisneyLand in the early 70's for the first time.

Later, when my kids were born in Florida, we would make the trek with them to Disney World in Orlando. That magical feeling of anticipation never seemed to fade each time we walked through the gates into the Magic Kingdom. Thanks, Walt!

Visit Disneyland Main Street USA - 1956 - Google Video

Freeze Your Ass Off in Saskatchewan

I always forget how cold it gets in Saskatchewan, Canada. After living in Forida for over 20 years and then moving out to the moderate Northwest, you tend to forget how bad it gets in the prairies (and the rest of Canda for that matter!). Here's a short clip of a guy throwing a pot of boiling water into the freezing air on a typical -40c day in Saskatchewan.

Another Mastercard Pic

I love those Mastercard Priceless parodies that have spun off from the original commercials. A Canadian friend sent this one to me recently.

Just a Sign...

A Sign at a Business Establishment Philadelphia, PA:

"WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH 1000 ARAB TERRORISTS THAN WITH A SINGLE JEW"

This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a business in Philadelphia. Most would be outraged at the thought of such an inflammatory statement. One would think that anti-hate groups from all across the country would be marching on this business. And that the National Guard might have to be called to keep the angry crowds back.

But, perhaps in these stressful times, one might be tempted to let the proprietors simply make their statement. We are a society who holds "Freedom of Speech" as perhaps our greatest liberty.

And after all, it is just a sign.

You may ask what business would dare post such a sign?










Goldberg's Funeral Home

Just for Fun

This is great! I read this posting by a guy who spent $39 for 100 postage stamps. He used them to write to 100 different consumer companies requesting free samples of their products. You can see the general content of his requests and the responses (and rejections) to his letters on his site, aptly named The $39 Experiment. It does look like he's making a few bucks off his Google AdWords anyway...