Does Empty REALLY Mean Empty?

From an episode on 20/20 tonight:

Human Calendar

Best Online Photo Site of the Year

Photographer Jonathan Harris went along on a 7-day whale hunt in Alaska earlier this year. In the process, he took a photograph every 5 minutes to document the entire story and then published his portfolio online HERE. It's nothing short of a new approach in photojournalism.

One Cool Invention

An innovative ground-breaking idea for car doors. The inventors are trying to market this on their own site at Disappearing-Car-Door.com.

How Many Five Year Old Kids Could You Take in a Fight?

22

Canada Attacks!

The Executive Coloring Book

Every kid should have one. From 1961, comes The Executive Coloring Book poster HERE.

Patience

From the Vancouver Film School:

Best Puns

The ability to Make and Understand Puns Is the Highest Level of Language Development.

Here are the ten first place winners in the International Pun Contest:

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my Electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. 'But why?', they asked, as they moved off. 'Because,' he said,' I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.'

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to Spain , they name him 'Juan'; the other went to a family in Egypt and is named 'Ahmal.' Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, 'They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.'

8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to 'persuade' them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Robin Williams on Viagra

Why Your Vanity Plates are Being Recalled

As most people know, there are certain vanity plates that your state DMV won't issue. Apparently, the rules had to be spelled out for this guy who ordered a plate with OPECFY stamped on it. In case, you have no idea why OPECFY is being recalled, here's a shot of the state's legal brief:

Best Toilet Signs

I've seen a few good ones over the years of travel but some of these are the best (Link HERE).

Four Seasons in One Picture

Now that we're getting slammed with our first heavy-duty storm of the winter: A really cool collection of blended pictures, each produced from four shots of the same scene at Spring, summer, Fall and Winter. Entire collection is HERE.

Even Better Than Fake Steve Jobs' Blog!

Hung Over on a Monday Morning?

Try Vodka in a Stapler!

Terrible Book Cover

Inside Notre Dame Cathedral

A fantastic 360-degree interactive shot(s) inside Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris HERE.

NOTE: Wow! Now I'm even more impressed! See the comment below from Laurent Sicard in Canada - this is his shot of the cathedral in Montréal Quebec! Thanks for the correction - beautiful shot! Check out his other work at http://www.teltip.com

The End of Car Chases

Coming soon to a police department near you. From StarChase.

Disneyland Sign Generator

Make up your own Disneyland sign announcement HERE.

Grandma's Money

Uncle Jay Explains How Congress Works...

...or not!

What's Your Real Age?

No, not your chronological age - your REAL age! Girlfriend or wife call you infantile? Now know for sure. Take the quiz HERE.

UPDATE: Since so many of you have sent me your results, I've changed the screenshot to show my final results.

Trip To Wal-Mart -- by Age

You're in the middle of a project around the house... mowing the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room, whatever. You are hot and sweaty. Covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit: shorts with a hole in the crotch, old t-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes. Right in the middle of this great home improvement project, you realize you need to run to Wal-Mart to get something to complete the job. Depending on your age, you might do the following:

In your 20's:

Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow-dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. You went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

In your 30's:

Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick, so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.

In your 40's:

Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Wal-Mart. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.

In your 50's:

Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dirt in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from your buddy's bait shop and it says, "I Got Worms."

In your 60's:

Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog crap off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure.

In your 70's:

Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Wal-Mart until they have your prescriptions ready too. Don't even notice the dog crap on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.

In your 80's:

Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember that you needed to go to Wal-Mart. Go to Wal-Mart and wonder around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. The old lady that greeted you at the front door went to school with you.

Existentialism in a Cartoon

ROTFLMAO!

Don't bother watching this video if you have no appreciation for childish, side-splitting humor. Really.

Master of Balls Video

The title pretty much says it all. This guy's amazing!

The Answer to the Ultimate Question... at last!

Yes, he does!

All I Can Say is Great Animation

Turkey Trivia

How much do you really know about that bird you're likely going to cook on Thanksgiving Day? Take the 20-question Turkey Trivia Test.

P.S. - I flunked!

Strange American Laws

Best Panhandler Sign

Like most major cities, Seattle has its share of panhandlers. Occasionally, you'll run across one who's totally original and definitely merits some money just for creativity. This recent post on Flickr is now tops on my list for originality - this guy would have gotten five bucks from me!

2007 National Yo-Yo Championships

Halifax Video on Funny or Die

A nasty little Halifax video:

Cool Earth Clock

Click on each of the different views to see a year-to-date, month-to-date, etc. Link is HERE.

Commercial of the Week: Talk Talk

Best Damn Etch-A-Sketch Artist!

If this guy isn't the best damn Etch-A-Sketch artist I've ever seen... Check out etch-a-sketchartist.com.

Achmed the Dead Terrorist

From comedian.ventriloquist Jeff Dunham. A riot!



Part 2 is here:

Candidate Truth-O-Meter

The St. Petersburg Times, in collaboration with The Congressional Quaterly, has created a new site - PolitiFact - that helps to sort out the bull from the shit during all of this election noise. I especially enjoy their Truth-O-Meter (HERE) which rates some of the latest pronouncements from our candidates (My favorite rating? Pants on fire!)

5 More of Those "Don't Judge Too Quickly" Ameriquest Ads

A really creative series.

Dog and Brownie Ad

Another one of those funny "Don't Judge Too Quickly" AmeriQuest ads.

ZIP Code Mashup

It never ceases to amaze me when they can make so much data available online from what's already out there! Check out ZipSkinny.com.

Get Your Mind Out of the Gutter

Fantastic drawing video:

Another in a Long Line of Priceless Parodies

Best Dear Prudence Post

It's fun reading some of the questions and answers on SLATE's Dear Prudence column. This recent one has already been making the rounds in e-mails and posts so I decided to confirm that it was indeed a real post (it is!). Full post is HERE.

Some Funny Signs

More HERE.

Bored at Work on Tuesday Afternoon?

Really bored? Really, REALLY bored? Virtual Bubble Wrap popping HERE.

Dog Video Dating

Miriam Must Be a Guy

Granny Panties from Victoria's Secret

How to Cope with Death

A re-post, this time to a longer version that appears to be posted by the animator himself, Ignacio Ferraras.

The Hardest Workers in the World?

I just finished reading an article titled The Hardest Workers in the World in which the argument is made that Americans collectively generate more per-capita than any people in the world. Coincidentally, I got an oldie-but-goodie in my Inbox that made me want to put these two tidbits together:

SO JUST WHO IS DOING THE WORK?

The population of the USA is 300 million.

160 million are retired.

That leaves 140 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school.

Which leaves 55 million to do the work.

Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.

Leaving 15 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama Bin-Laden.

Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.

Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city governments.

And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188, 000 people in hospitals.

Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work.

You. And me.

And there you are, sitting on your ass, at your computer, reading jokes.

Nice. Real nice...

Holy Crap! Fighting Giraffes!

Where Do Shooting Stars Come From?

From a talk on the challenges of going to the toilet in space as explained by Colonel Chris Hadfield of the Canadian Space Agency at the Ontario Science Centre in Toronto.

How to Maintain a Relationship, by Chris Rock

Why Men Shouldn't Take Messages

Human Cheer Screens

Only in Korea - Amazing!

What Happens If You Make a Poor Font Choice!

Great Billboards

Some of the best I've seen! HERE.

Japanese Toilet Training for Kids (with English Subtitles)

Tallest Building in Each State

Need a Boost?

Get your pat-on-the-back HERE.

Beijing Merchants Preparing for 2008 Olympics

Ball Buster Family Fun

A real board game brought out in 1974!

Holy Cow! Save a Fortune on AA Batteries!

Male Grammar vs. Female Grammar

Jim Carrey as The Environment Guy

From the old In Living Color show:

Why Detroit is So Dirty

Another Cool World Clock

Check it out HERE.

Want to Talk to a Human?

GetHuman has a huge collection of fastest ways to navigate out of Voicemail Hell and get a human on the other end fast.

If Burger King Outsourced Their Drive Thru

Heaven

Trashiest TV Clip I've Seen

OK I admit it. I'm a guy and I sometimes check out some strange shows on G4 from time to time when I'm bored. I especially enjoy catching up on old episodes of The Man Show (the ones with Jimmy Kimmel and Adam Carolla). But today, I was watching a particularly nasty episode of a REALLY trashy show called Cheaters that featured an S&M episode. Weird. Dateline meets Jerry Springer! Ha Ha! Freakin' hilarious! They really showed this on television!

CRM* á la Robert de Niro

*CRM = Customer Relationship Management

How to Untangle Your MP3 Headphones and Floss Your Cat at the Same Time

MC Escher Meets Wacked Out Photographer!

Photographer Josh Sommers (aka Pisco Bandito) combines his digital photography with MC Escher effects to create infinite images that Escher the artist has made a trademark. Sommers has even posted a tutorial on how he creates his novel images. (Everything posted on Flickr.)

Dinner at Rush Hour on a Russian Subway Train

The whole event pics posted HERE.

Where All Those Nasty e-Mail Tattoo Pictures Come From...

Here's a site with a huge collection of some of the nastiest tattoos you're likely to see. So now we know where they find a lot of them when you get another one of those e-mails with another stupid tattoo picture attached. You'll notice that the majority of these are permanently emblazoned on young guys, probably while in an alternate state.

How to Dance - as Taught by James Brown!

The Redneck Homepage

Well done!

Scratched DVD's or CD's? Try a Banana!

Old Fashioned Ads for New Stuff

I love checking out the Worth1000 Photoshop contests. Today, they're featuring new products promoted with old-fashioned ads. Check more out on the Worth1000 site HERE.

And Another Great Sign...

Accuracy in Signage

25 Reasons I Owe My Mother

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."


2. My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."


3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"


4. My mother taught me LOGIC.

" Because I said so, that's why."


5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."


6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."


7. My mother taught me IRONY

"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."


8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."


9. My mother taught me about CONTORTION.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"


10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all the spinach and olives are gone."


11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."


12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"


13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."


14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"


15. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."


16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home."


17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .

"You are going to get it when you get home!"


18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."


19. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"


20. My mother taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."


21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."


22. My mother taught me GENETICS.

You're just like your father."


23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"


24. My mother taught me WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."


25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.

From the MAN Show: Ladysitters

Just caught this clip tonight on a re-run of The Man Show:

This Cartoon Says It All

The REAL Cat Lady!

If this was in the States, the ASPCA and PETA would be all over this lady's ass! But apparently these cats are all well cared for and fed enough that the authorities - and her neighbors - aren't complaining! 130 cats!!! Here's the clip from Russian news:

Great Parking Spot!

Don't Bother Watching Sicko

Quite frankly, the idea of having a fat slob tell me what's wrong with our health care system just rubs me the wrong way. If you want to see an enlightening, 5-minute video that condenses everything Sicko claims to expose, this one's for you.

Yuck!