Don't Buy an HP All-in-One Printer

So says a poor slob over in Iraq who just wanted them to tell him how to get it back up and running so he could do his job. HP used to have fantastic support for all of their products and I used to consider them second to none. But I hate poor tech support. As shown on YouTube or watch it here. Pass this on.

Thank God for Advances in Dentistry

My brothers and I still remember going to the rather sadistic Dr. Goldberg, our family dentist, during the 50's and 60's. And they weren't fond memories. Everything was painful back then, especially to kids. He had some of the nastiest dental tools you could imagine back then unlike the state of dentistry equipment today. Hell, just getting past the needle was a major accomplishment. But can you imagine how bad it probably was back in the 30's? Well, Modern Mechanix has a recent post of an article from Popular Science Magazine from 1939 that shows a macabre device invented by an obviously twisted dentist used to measure your mouth for a denture plate. Yow! Can I have some more of that cocaine, doc?

Best Amateur Domino Video

Three Japanese kids who really have too much time on their hands. But damn -- They're good! You'll sit on the edge of your seat to see if they make it to the grand finale! Link is HERE.

Naked Headlines

A friend sent along this link to a cool headline generator that uses nudes in a tasteful way to form letters of the alphabet. They include the HTML code for direct inclusion on your website. Sadly, the Russian developers made a poor attempt at translation and called it Pornoname even though there's nothing in bad taste. Just type in the headline you want to set in their "font."

George W. Accepts Ahmadinejad's Invitation for Debate

Dear Mahmoud:

I think your idea for a debate is a wonderful idea. Here's a Google Map to help you find the place. In fact, I'm sending Air Force One over there to pick you up right now.

Regards
George W. Bush

Spray It -- Don't Say It!

From the restrooms of the Washington DC National Zoo. (Found posted on Echos of Cold Moon) Something I surely didn't know and perhaps didn't WANT to know!

Why We Need the Internet

Hilarious animation using a song from the Broadway play AvenueQ.

Where the Hell is Matt?

It's Friday and I came across this 3½-minute video on YouTube called Where the Hell is Matt? It's silly and might even strike you as a little trite; but I did find it light-hearted and thought it might bring a smile to your face like it did to me.

Nasty Photo

Back in late June, we took a short vacation to the Washington Coast when one of Donna's old friends came out to visit her in Seattle. I forgot to post this picture of a sign that had caught my eye as I was walking up a street in downtown Port Angeles. I had to do a double-take when I first saw it and then realized that the sign actually said something different as you walked closer towards the restaurant. Nasty Chinese Restaurant!

Roommates

Never do crazy stuff in your dorm room if you have a sneaky roommate. Wonder if he killed the guy after he posted the video?

Commercial of the Week (at last)

At last: A new, funny commercial for the week. And it's for life insurance (?!!). Link is HERE on VeryFunnyAds.

Wow! Breathtaking Ride Through Paris!

You think I have too much time on my hands? This guy did a double mashup, combining Google Maps and Google Video. He takes an 8-minute clip from a 1978 Claude LeLouche film taken by a camera mounted on the hood of a Ferrari 275 GTB that was diven by a professional Formula 1 driver through the streets of Paris AND he combines it with a Google Map of Paris that tracks his ride in the film. (Just follow the directions on the page careullyfor best esults.) Apparently, when LeLouch requested a permit to close off the streets for safety, the cost was so phohibitive that they simply decided to shoot without one. Whichi what makes this such an even more thrilling piece of film work. All I can say is: WOW!!!

A Picture is Worth A Thousand Words

Now let's see... Aunt Minnie is in the middle and Cousin Laverne is on the left. Or was Cousin Laverne in the middle and Aunt Minnie was on the left? Why even bother wasting the film?

Religions of the World

This t-shirt pretty much covers it all.

What Your Dog is REALLY Doing in the Backyard

The clip speaks for itself... (Windows Media WMV format approx. 1.36 Mb)

Obsessive Compulsive Cat

...with a toilet flushing disorder! Click to play or go to YouTube.

Terrorist Funnies

An exceptionally fresh and witty comic strip that occasionally pokes fun at our favorite Islamofascist terrorists: Check out Wondermark by Dave Malki.

Opening a beer with a Piece of Paper

Just what it says. All in a YouTube video.

Test Your Bandwidth Free

This has got to be the coolest site I've seen for testing your bandwidth. You can choose from test locations from all over the globe by using the interactive map; they even let you save your results for future reference and to compare notes with your friends. Go to SpeedTest.net

Tech Support - Help with Wife 1.0

Dear Tech Support:


Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5 and Racing 3.6 no longer run , crashing the system whenever selected.


I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!


Thanks,

A Troubled User

______________________________________

REPLY:


Dear Troubled User:



This is a very common problem that men complain about.



Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING !!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.


You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings: Alimony - Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.



The best course of action is to enter the command C:\ APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.



Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2 .


However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!



WARNING!!! DO NOT - under any circumstances - install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.



Best of luck,

Tech Support

How Condoms Work

I still remember this commercial from when it first hit the airwaves and amazingly it's every bit as funny now as it was then (maybe it's a guy thing!). Click on the screen to play it here or go to YouTube.

Catch This One

More fun Flash coding on this site HERE. Move your cursor over to this guy's nose and try keeping it there.

Grand Theft Auto Coke Commercial

Coke in its neverending quest to stay cool, had ad agency Nexus develop a viral commercial based on Grand Theft Auto. You can view a copy of it on YouTube HERE or just click on the opening screen here.

Having Fun in My Old Age

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. I went to the store the other day. I was only in there for about 5 minutes.

When I came out there was a city cop writing out a parking ticket. I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a senior a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a name. He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him a worse name. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third.

This went on for about 20 minutes. It seems the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Oh well, I didn't care: My car was parked around the corner and this one had a "Hillary in '08" bumper sticker on it.

I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important at our age.

Some Token Cute Pictures

From a Flickr collection actually called Tiny Animals on Fingers: some of the tiniest critters on the planet.

Kids' Candy Gets Grosser

I thought some of the candy my kids had when they were growing up was pretty gross. But I was wrong. Check out Candy Addict for more of their 10 grossest candies.

Plastic Surgery Gone Wild

The name of the site says it all: AwfulPlasticSurgery.com.

New Chinese Robots

A news story on Yahoo! that covers female robots developed at the Chinese Academy of Sciences along with several shots of the life-like automations. They intend to sell these to places like museums and hotels (it might be an improvement in customer service in some places!).

What the Hell are They Selling?

My Japanese is terrible but perhaps this is a commercial for a condiment, mayonnaise perhaps? Foreign commercials are crazy to watch (they probably laugh at ours too). On YouTube here.

Aspartame: Good Sweetener or Evil Chemical?

I keep getting chain e-mails over and over again that emphasize the evils of aspartame sweeteners that are used to replace sugar in just about everything from sodas to pastries. My favorite Urban legends site, Snopes, has some pretty extensive references on its aspartame page. But then you also have DORway, David Reitz's extensive section on the ill effects of aspartame. Then a friend just sent me this page on using aspartame as a very effective antkiller! Go figure! All I know is that I always get severe headaches whenever I drink anything with aspartame in it; when they slip a diet drink to me at a fast-food place, I can always tell it's a diet drink from the frist sip. Me, I personally hate artificial sweeteners and believe that they can't be good for you. But you can decide for yourself after reading some of these links.

A Meat Cake

No, really. I mean it. A step-by-step picture tutorial on how to make a Meat Cake. Link is here to BlackWidowBakery for the recipe.

He's Ba-aaack!

But for a limited time only. JudgeOJ.com will only be up for 30 days so check it out soon. The creators are finishing a documentary that took years of following OJ Simpson around with a camera and complete freedom to tape everything. Watch as OJ trash talks Oprah and gives dating advice to an OJ groupie! You decide -- see what jurors saw! Crazy and scary all at the same time.

How to Crack Most Locks

Apparently this technique has been well-known among locksmiths for years: It's called Bump Keying and it basically allows someone to crack just about any lock in a matter of seconds using simple master keys to "bump" the pins in the lock. Worse still, it appears that the more expensive the lock, the easier it is to pick! There's even an Acrobat PDF document on the process HERE. The YouTube video is approx. 7 minutes complete with English subtitles and well-worth the watch. We may be in for a serious increase burglaries now that Newsweek recently detailed this in a mainstream news article. Wonder how insurance companies are going to treat these walk-in thefts? Yikes!

The Simplest Things Often Say It Best

This is a flipbook animation from Don Hertzfeldt on Google Video about Life as A Guy. Thousands of e-mails on the topic and this simple animation says it all!

Your Surname

How many other people share your surname in America? And where does it stand compared to other surnames? Using the US Census Bureau's Index statistics, this database uses over 50,000 names to rank your surname. From PBS. Of course, Smith is still Number 1.

More Redneck Wedding Pictures

I hate to do this to all of you on Friday but someone just sent me a link to yet another set of redneck wedding pictures. I think this set really takes the cake. These are so good I just HAVE to share them. See the entire collection here.

Al Gore's An Convenient Truth -- er, Spoof

A one-minute re-make of Al Gore's oft-mocked PowerPoint presentation from An Inconvenient Truth. An Inconvenient Spoof as seen on YouTube.



Rumors are flying that the spoof was created by DCI, a PR firm out of DC that represents clients such as Exxon. So who cares? If Steve Colbert and Jon Stewart can freely create satire that gets distributed virally, maybe we can finally get a few chuckles out of Al, too.

Smart-Ass Darth Vader

From YouTube:

How to Steal a Notebook Computer in Broad Daylight

Here's security camera footage of a notebook being stolen during business hours at a store. More and more businesses have been installing cameras as prices continue to drop and the technology gets easier and easier to use. But crooks also seem to be getting dumber and dumber...

Really Old Commercials from the 50's and 60's

Commercials that I actually remember seeing on that old black-and-white Admiral TV screen. Yes, I'm really THAT old! Ah for the old days! This is a collection of vintage ads in public domain and available to download at Internet Archive.

Every Breath You Take

Economics geeks can have fun sometimes too! From the YouTube posting itself: "Columbia Business School's Dean Glenn Hubbard sings about wanting Alan Greenspan's job that went instead to New Fed Chair Ben Bernanke. Parody created by Columbia Business School students." On YouTube HERE.

Why Microsoft Vista Keeps Getting Delayed

If you want a demonstration of why Vista's delivery date keeps getting puched back and features keep getting stripped away, this YouTube video says it all.